Deep Down Inside

I hope you all don't mind that I created a thread for this series.

Don't really know what to say but a simple "wow" 9 Parts already and they just keep getting better and better. I honestly don't know what else to say but keep it up! I'll leave it to the others to go into more detail.

I think it's good you created a thread. I wasn't sure on which chapter to post my comment. I chose chapter 9, but here goes:

Can't believe it, this is such an unbelievably great story. In the past weeks and months, many stories just didn't catch me anymore. But this is terriffic! It's great to see them being quite the nice girls on the one hand, and being totally intoxicated by their power on the other. This is really fun to watch unfold. I hope you won't crank it up too much. I mean that "supergirl destroys army" level. That's cool for short stories or longer ones that focus on the army stuff, but in this case I think it would destroy the whole setting of exploration, domination of surprised victims (because they are simply not publicly known on a large scale).
I find it much more intriguing to think about how Jared is going to relate to the group, and how they'll treat him. Some day of course you'll have to let the aliens come back... please don't let them win

Esteban wrote: I think it's good you created a thread. I wasn't sure on which chapter to post my comment. I chose chapter 9, but here goes:

Can't believe it, this is such an unbelievably great story. In the past weeks and months, many stories just didn't catch me anymore. But this is terriffic! It's great to see them being quite the nice girls on the one hand, and being totally intoxicated by their power on the other. This is really fun to watch unfold. I hope you won't crank it up too much. I mean that "supergirl destroys army" level. That's cool for short stories or longer ones that focus on the army stuff, but in this case I think it would destroy the whole setting of exploration, domination of surprised victims (because they are simply not publicly known on a large scale).
I find it much more intriguing to think about how Jared is going to relate to the group, and how they'll treat him. Some day of course you'll have to let the aliens come back... please don't let them win

It was your comment that made me want to create the thread actually. You couldn't have said it better. The whole story is great, the only way it could possibly get better for me is if they also figured out they could have more powers such as heat vision and flight

Thank you for the positive comments! This was my first try at fiction so I'm glad some of you are enjoying it. So far, I've written only #1-9, but there will be more in the future....

I reiterate my comments that this is a good story, well done and look forward to more (which I think will be the more challenging part). It is no surprise, it is popular as it has a real 'Marknew' feel about it and of course he remains a giant of the genre.

Esteban wrote: In the past weeks and months, many stories just didn't catch me anymore.

Interesting, could you explain this a bit more as it could help authors avoid certain mistakes? The last weeks did give us quite a few stories after all and feedback is crucial here.

As for Deep Down Inside I've yet to read the last part, but so far it's quite good.

I'm very sorry, I don't think I can give an explanation that is fair towards the authors and their surely hard work. Most of the time, I just didn't like the setting to begin with.. also, I'm simply no fan of the

"Up in the sky! Look!" "It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "It's Superwoman!"

kind of stories. I bet they are all very well written, but after reading one or two of them I knew that they just don't match my taste.

Well. I just took a look at the story bank to make sure I didn't forget something. I did: I really liked "Turnabout is fair play" and "The neutral ground".
I surely shouldn't have been so indifferent. On the other hand, well you know, giving negative feedback is a hard thing to do. You want to be very sure about what you say, you don't want to falsely hurt anyone. But to do that, you really have to read the story and put a lot of thinking to it. But if you don't like the story, you don't want to do that

Esteban wrote: I'm very sorry, I don't think I can give an explanation that is fair towards the authors and their surely hard work. Most of the time, I just didn't like the setting to begin with.. also, I'm simply no fan of the

"Up in the sky! Look!" "It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "It's Superwoman!"

kind of stories. I bet they are all very well written, but after reading one or two of them I knew that they just don't match my taste.

Well. I just took a look at the story bank to make sure I didn't forget something. I did: I really liked "Turnabout is fair play" and "The neutral ground".
I surely shouldn't have been so indifferent. On the other hand, well you know, giving negative feedback is a hard thing to do. You want to be very sure about what you say, you don't want to falsely hurt anyone. But to do that, you really have to read the story and put a lot of thinking to it. But if you don't like the story, you don't want to do that

You raise an interesting point here, namely the fact that it's hard to give negative feedback because this might disencourage the author. Not liking the setting is a valid explanation for not being interested in a story, though. I doubt anybody will be mad about this.

I wonder if the majority of authors would prefer negative feedback over no feedback. Personally I'd rather have negative feedback, but that's easy to say unless you had one.

But in order not to drift too far off-topic:

One thing I don't like about the story is that it's been posted as a big bulk that now takes in the whole ticker. This is mostly because there have been so many new submissions lately that didn't have half as much time to be noticed than they would have any other time before. Actual story feedback will have to wait until I'm done with work...

I assume that no feedback is negative feedback, of the worst kind, which is that people didn't like it but won't explain why, or didn't read it because it was written by me.

The last two stories I submitted sank without leaving a trace. It's frustrating to not know why, especially since I had been working on them on and off for over a year and I commissioned illustrations. Yes, negative feedback would be hard to hear, but the way things are going, I am starting to assume that people are not even reading them and that's the point where I will give up.

Having said that, I probably won't get a chance to read Deep Down Inside until the weekend.

I don't think that no feedback automatically means negative reception.
For example, I think your Ultimate Crisis Prelude stories are awesome. Still, no one seems to have commented. Some people added them to their favorites list - honestly, that's a feature I just now discovered because I wanted to see if stories have "like"-buttons. Which brings me to a thought: How about two buttons below the end of each story. With these buttons, a user can at least give the very simple feedback "I liked"/"I didn't like". Make one of them green, the other one red, and let them be really large so you can't not see them. Then, put the "add to favorites" button below the big green "like" button. That way, maybe more people would give feedback when they are given very simple and easy to spot options right at the end of the story, so they don't even need to think of searching for them. Anyone who liked a story would be just a click away (no scrolling back to the top, where the fave-button is) from letting others know, and that's without having to put thought into writing a comment.
Encouraging users to write comments is a different problem, but I really think that this easy "voting system" might work to help get at least an overview over the overall reception of a story.

geekseven wrote: I assume that no feedback is negative feedback, of the worst kind, which is that people didn't like it but won't explain why, or didn't read it because it was written by me.

The last two stories I submitted sank without leaving a trace. It's frustrating to not know why, especially since I had been working on them on and off for over a year and I commissioned illustrations. Yes, negative feedback would be hard to hear, but the way things are going, I am starting to assume that people are not even reading them and that's the point where I will give up.

Wow that's a rather dark outlook from one of the most active authors right now. Especially the "didn't read it because it was written by me"-part sounds dangerous here. I remember you being called "the new conceptfan" once because of your similar tendency to write about evil ubergirls. But it would be a mistake to assume that all your stories belong to this subgenre, and your most recent stories are proof of that (personally I prefer your Accidental Amazon and Magpie over your Ultimate Crisis Prelude btw).

I don't think that no feedback automatically means negative reception.

This may be true. But similar to what you suggest in your post, there already is a voting system on this page. Since these votes (unlike the favorites) were lost due to the virus, I can't really give any good examples, but from my personal experience I can say that the amount of votes for a story can vary very much. I could see a decline in votes with every MMM installment I posted which indicates that there are less people reading it - which is at least understandable since there shouldn't be a genre shift inside one series.

Anyway this voting feature could be used a lot more, the page has been back up for some time now and when I consider Deep Down Inside to be just one story, there seem to be just three (!) stories that have been voted for right now.

The stories are a fun read. Super bad girls going on a rampage and abusing their powers are not my favorite, but this one is well enough done that I am enjoying it greatly.

That said, I tried to vote on it, and nothing happened. If authors are going to be deciding whether their work is appreciated or not based on votes, I'd like to have my votes actually work, with enough feedback that I can tell that they actually work. I got no sign that my vote was registered on part 9, and the number of votes the site reported did not change.

lfan wrote: Regarding the votes of MMM declining with subsequent chapters, I also hold that while most people DON'T comment/vote, most do not vote every chapter and/or don't know where to vote when reading multiple chapters. As someone said earlier, they finished and loved Deep Down Inside but where do I say that...Chapter 1....9?

ElF

I don't think it's good to compare a story where multiple (so far all) parts have been posted at once with a story where every part was posted on its own. In fact Deep Down Inside just contradicts you statement by having two-three votes each, the next page under "Stories by Date" looks a bit different.I only used MMM as an example because I kept track of these developments there and due to the reset I have no other examples and my only other story received enough attention due to being a workshop entry.

I'm not much for the behind-the-scenes conversations like what's going on on the front page of the website, or what kind of feedback is good to give writers. But I did feel the need to chime in here to thank the author for an excellent story so far. I love it when hotshot undrafted rookies come from out of nowhere and immediately put themselves in the all-star discussion. Great job, LeBron!

Wow, I never saw that voting system until you told me of it. I guess I always jump right through to the text or something.. well.

As to the taste for super bad girls: I like this subgenre most of the time, but for me, the cool part of Deep Down Inside is that the girls aren't really super bad yet. They may be on the hunt for revenge and take extreme measures ("You called me fat? Clearly, you must die"), but in other situations they seem to be just the normal girls who are still freaked out by how powerful they've become. I like to think that they might still have sexual encounters like in the first chapters, without smashing their victims to a pulp. You know? It's great that physical violence is not their only means to dominate, and that is my glimmer of hope that this storyline doesn't evolve into pure and simple carnage.

njae wrote: Wow that's a rather dark outlook from one of the most active authors right now. Especially the "didn't read it because it was written by me"-part sounds dangerous here. I remember you being called "the new conceptfan" once because of your similar tendency to write about evil ubergirls. But it would be a mistake to assume that all your stories belong to this subgenre, and your most recent stories are proof of that (personally I prefer your Accidental Amazon and Magpie over your Ultimate Crisis Prelude btw).

What can I say? I'm riddled with self doubt and I have a negative view of everything I do.

I'll stop talking about this now and return to the thread when I've had a chance to read the story.

Opinions are like noses. Everyone has one.

It is a great strength and a weakness for sites such as this (and Brawna). I should say from the outset that I have been told that I'm too sensitive and perhaps that is true, but when you spend hours and days of unpaid effort putting together something that you are proud of, it is disappointing to be adjudged in a line or by a number or a red/green button or whatever.

Rating systems are arbitrary and floored. Let's be honest, everyone has a different 'fetish' that attracts them to these sites - its not just the superpowers; it could be the transformation, the erotic content, the depiction of iconic characters from their childhood, the age, the setting, the love of the characters. What may be one person's five is another's three. On Brawna I was following the votes for one of my stories, they went 4, 5, 5, 4, 1. WTF? One? It had to be BS.

So I don't follow ratings.

Now to the three main points I wish to make which haven't been covered on the thread to date (and one was in my earlier message which I edited out).

First - I'd like to get a consensus feel for the muscularity element of the uber-strength genre. My first story on this site drew some comment that the uber-girl was portrayed with too much muscle. This led me to conclude that perhaps that's a taboo area on this site. No. Since then I have gone back to it in Artful Dodger and now circes_cup breaks new ground (IMO) in this story. I like it. I think superstrength and femuscle go together. I know that is a minority view (both here and on Brawna) but I point out that it seemed to sit well together on the old Xtreme Strength site so again, this all comes down to a question of opinion.

I'm just surprised nothing's come up on this thread to date.

The second thing is that as we go into another 'competitive' phase I think it's wrong to comment on stories - at least in a negative way - before voting is finalised. While most regulars read and vote early, I'm convinced the 'late comers' don't always take the same due diligence to reading and appraising the entries. To put it bluntly, forum comment by established members could be used as cheat sheets for those who prefer the work of maybe just one or two of the entrants. Shorten the voting period I say and hold off comment until the end. Then you can tear me up as much as you like (snigger).

Finally, my main purpose in posting is to allow those (handful) of people who like what I do to read what I've done. I'm happy to work away in the outfield and I don't covert any fanbase, prize or even good feedback. If you like my work. Great. If you don't. That's fine, I really don't mind, but I would prefer you not to read than tell me it's not what you like - particularly if I see flaws or inconsistencies in your feedback over time.

So there you have it. My daily rant for 24 August 2012.

Thanks again to everyone who has posted comments here. I know that I am new to the community, but I have read this genre of writing before. Some of my favorite genre authors are part of this thread, so, I'm particularly gratified to see some positive feedback!

You've given me lots to think about regarding where to take this story next. I tend to agree with many of the suggestions. But since part of the fun is the mystery -- ie, not knowing what's coming-- I'm going to leave you in suspense about where things go from here.

Part 10 has not been started yet, so it may be some time before you see the next installment. Wish me luck!

circes_cup wrote: Part 10 has not been started yet, so it may be some time before you see the next installment. Wish me luck!

Nooooooo!

Well, good luck. Lots of good luck. Preposterous amounts of good luck, as long as it's not the kind of good luck that keeps you from writing. It's a very interesting story and a very fun read, it's drawn me in in spite of my usual tastes in super girl stories.

I agree that it only takes a few chapters to know if you like a series or not....And I gotta say....I like this....Keep it up!

Rip Harden wrote: Opinions are like noses. Everyone has one.

It is a great strength and a weakness for sites such as this (and Brawna). I should say from the outset that I have been told that I'm too sensitive and perhaps that is true, but when you spend hours and days of unpaid effort putting together something that you are proud of, it is disappointing to be adjudged in a line or by a number or a red/green button or whatever.

Rating systems are arbitrary and floored. Let's be honest, everyone has a different 'fetish' that attracts them to these sites - its not just the superpowers; it could be the transformation, the erotic content, the depiction of iconic characters from their childhood, the age, the setting, the love of the characters. What may be one person's five is another's three. On Brawna I was following the votes for one of my stories, they went 4, 5, 5, 4, 1. WTF? One? It had to be BS.

So I don't follow ratings.

It's not the rating itself that bothered here, but the amount of votes as it normally indicates how many people read it.

Rip Harden wrote: Now to the three main points I wish to make which haven't been covered on the thread to date (and one was in my earlier message which I edited out).

First - I'd like to get a consensus feel for the muscularity element of the uber-strength genre. My first story on this site drew some comment that the uber-girl was portrayed with too much muscle. This led me to conclude that perhaps that's a taboo area on this site. No. Since then I have gone back to it in Artful Dodger and now circes_cup breaks new ground (IMO) in this story. I like it. I think superstrength and femuscle go together. I know that is a minority view (both here and on Brawna) but I point out that it seemed to sit well together on the old Xtreme Strength site so again, this all comes down to a question of opinion.

I'm just surprised nothing's come up on this thread to date.

Actually it was more of a surprise that it was mentioned with your Super Bitch story than the fact that it wasn't here. It's really just a question of opinion here, and as you mentioned above, everybody has a different fetisch here. But lfan's avatar should be a clear sign that femuscle is no taboo here.

Rip Harden wrote: The second thing is that as we go into another 'competitive' phase I think it's wrong to comment on stories - at least in a negative way - before voting is finalised. While most regulars read and vote early, I'm convinced the 'late comers' don't always take the same due diligence to reading and appraising the entries. To put it bluntly, forum comment by established members could be used as cheat sheets for those who prefer the work of maybe just one or two of the entrants. Shorten the voting period I say and hold off comment until the end. Then you can tear me up as much as you like (snigger).

Well it started more as a trend where the authors started to comment on the other stories. But then again I don't think the amount of people using other people's opinion as a cheat sheet shouldn't be that high. Still there's no harm in trying it out this workshop.



To get back to topic: I mentioned earlier that I'm not a big fan of evil ubergirls but these girls start of as nice and have bad things happening to them that explains their drift to the dark side. My only gripe is that they react a bit too harsh in some situations. Still, I'm looking forward to the next parts.

njae wrote: My only gripe is that they react a bit too harsh in some situations. Still, I'm looking forward to the next parts.

Yes, absolutely. Would be nice if they reclined to just breaking some bones every once in a while