Authors: your favorite 'bit'

27 Jan 2021 19:48 #70298 by lfan
Authors: your favorite 'bit' was created by lfan
Had a conversation with another author the other day which led into an interesting question that I had to ponder for a while before answering:

"What is your favorite 'bit' you've written?" 

Not so much an entire story but just a favorite scene or gaffe or even a bit of dialog.  Curious as to hear what others thought of their own works.

Mine would have to be a spin-bike scene I wrote in Scroll of Destiny.  I dunno why, but I just seemed to like it.  Ironically (or maybe not so), I wrote it after a grueling workout at Orange Theory one day:

Destiny felt freshly energized as she adjusted her seat and hopped up, hooking her shoes onto the pedals. She smiled sheepishly, exchanging a flirty glance with one of her fellow spinners, the cute guy in the gray tank top to her right. Destiny grinned, soaking up one of the best intangible benefits from her new, improved body—the not-so-subtle stares from most of the men in her class—at least the ones she suspected weren't gay. 

"OK, people.....Everest Time!" shouted the spin instructor on her headset speaker, eliciting a series of groans from the class, including from Destiny. Everest Day was a grueling spin class template involving 50 mins of continual hill climbs followed by a brief all-out sprint to the finish—if you could feel your legs at the end of the climb. 

Still, Destiny felt more confident this morning and breathed in deeply, readying herself mentally as she began her warmup, her legs moving in a circle with a steady cadence. Reaching for her gear shift, Destiny began turning her knob to set her base gear to 10 as she had been doing for the last 2-3 weeks. Today, however, she felt stronger—more energized—and turned the knob up to twelve, smiling to herself, as she battled against the new, added resistance with a renewed sense of excitement. 

"OK, folks.....halfway there! Doing great! Don't. Give. Up!" barked the overly perky spin instructor twenty minutes into the grueling climb, amidst a series of groans and more than a few mumbled curse words from the class. Destiny looked around the room, noticing the pained expressions of her fellow riders and the almost torrential streams of sweat just pouring down their faces. Strangely, Destiny did not seem to share in their misery as she looked down and stared at her legs churning like two, sexy pistons as she continued to pedal smoothly up the mountain. Quite hardly, to her, it somehow felt like she was out for a Sunday bike ride on a flat trail! 

"That's it! I know it's hard but try and keep your RPMs above 65 for this climb!" 

Destiny glanced down at her speed and saw her RPMs were holding steady at 85. "Eighty-five?!" thought Destiny. That couldn't be right. Looking discreetly over at Mr. Grey Shirt to her left, Destiny's improved eyesight allowed her to clearly read the RPMs on his monitor—sixty-three! Could that be right? Judging from his expression of both anguish and exhaustion, it certainly SEEMED valid, but then how could she be going so much faster without a lot of effort on her part. 

Thinking her gearshift was stuck or broken, Destiny gave it another quarter turn to the right, amping it up to 15. Destiny DID feel a brief surge of resistance push against her legs, but it was gone in a heartbeat, as her new powerful legs dismissed the new impedance with complete disrespect. Glancing up at her monitor, she could only shrug her shoulders in disbelief as she saw her RPM readout continue to dance back and forth between 85 and 86. Destiny recalled how the spin bikes in the studio were always breaking or under repair, so she just chalked it up to a faulty resistance knob for the moment, taking care not to turn it up anymore for the rest of class. Still, glancing back at her wheel, it DID seem to be spinning noticeably faster than most of the others' in the class... 

Destiny continued her almost pedestrian assault on Everest for the next 20 minutes, keeping her machine-like cadence at eighty-five RPMs with minimal effort until they were seconds from completing their climb. 

"OK....everyone, get ready......flat road! Give it everything you have left! 60 seconds! Empty the tank!" 

"OK, got this!" Destiny thought to herself as her sexy glutes lifted slightly, edging towards the front of her seat as she began to pedal faster. Her RPM readout began climbing quickly under the young girl's increased efforts. Destiny glanced down and saw the monitor reading jump past 95 in the first few seconds alone. She smiled, knowing she could go faster. Much faster. 

Destiny's quads flared with sexy striations of muscle with every revolution as she bore down, gaining more and more speed. 95 RPMs became 101 RPMs. Then 107. 

"Faster! Faster!" Destiny prodded herself, her ears tuning into the whirling buzz of her flywheel, spinning faster and louder with every passing second. The sound spurning her on to go even faster. Faster than she had ever gone before. Faster than she ever thought she could. 


Her flywheel whistled noisily as if to say "Look at me! Look at her!" and caught the attention of her neighboring cyclists. Grey shirt glanced over in disbelief, marveling at the sight of Destiny's legs churning at a blistering pace with no sign of stopping. Destiny exchanged a flirtatious glance with him and flashed a mischievous grin as she poured everything into it, her sleek legs powering like two supple but super-powerful pistons over the final 10 seconds. 

"3....2....1.....time! Way to go, everyone! Great job!" 

Destiny let out an exasperated breath, slowing down her pedaling, taking a moment before blinking her eyes in disbelief at the blinking readout on her bike. One hundred. Forty. Seven! 

"Any personal bests? Raise your hand! Great job!" the instructor asked non-nonchalantly as Destiny half-heartedly raised her hand along with a few others, still in disbelief. Her personal best to date had been 117 RPMs, but she just blew that out of the park—AFTER a 50-minute hill climb. While it was exciting, it didn't seem plausible, especially considering the fact that she wasn't even that winded anymore. Everyone else in the class looked like they were ready to collapse or puke....some both. 

Slipping off her bike, Destiny quickly slipped surreptitiously out of the back of the room choosing not to stay for the warm down or even to strike up a little conversation with Grey Shirt. As she walked down the hall, Destiny kept trying to temper her excitement, telling herself that it must have been a problem with the monitor. I mean, it was pretty clear that something was broken on the bike with the resistance thingy. It would make perfect sense and explain her supernatural endurance and speed.

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27 Jan 2021 23:26 #70299 by Woody
Replied by Woody on topic Authors: your favorite 'bit'
For me I'd go with Hannahs first fight in Hyperwoman Ch 4. The idea behind it was that Hannah really had no idea what she was doing and as a result there might be a bit of collateral damage. Also it allowed for some more of Hannah's personality to show with her one liners that fall flat but her wanting to do the right thing.

I got up off the bench around ran into the alley. There were some bins and boxes there obscuring the view through the alley

I crouched behind the bin and took off my glasses, “This is a job for Hyperwoman” I said quietly and ripped my shirt.

Nothing happened

“Shit.” I thought, and then I remembered “Standing, Right.”

I put the boxes on top of the bin to give enough height to block unsuspecting eyes.

I stood behind the boxes out of sight. “here goes nothing” I said, then I ripped my shirt.

I felt the power surge through me as I transformed. My shirt and jeans changed into Hyperwoman’s red and blue suit. My heels were boots and I now wore red gloves and a cape

I dashed back around the corner and into the newsagent, passed the men and straight into a magazine carousel. One almighty crash later I got up on my feet with two shocked men staring at me.

Magazines were strewn everywhere and the carousel was on the ground.

“Mind if I crash the party” I said

“HYPERWOMAN!!” They all exclaimed, Enrico, who held more enthusiasm in his voice then the others, then hid behind the counter in the confusion.

“Who were you were expecting? Superman!” I quipped

“Superwho?” one guy asked

“Superman; the guy I kind of feel like I’m ripping off here? It doesn’t matter.” I said putting up my fists.

Right then the guy with the knife turned and he started swinging at me. The first two swipes fell short but the third cracked me right in the forearm on the glove.

And cracked his knife clean in two.

“I guess your knife will not cut” I said, and was greeted by death stares “Nothing! Really?”

So there I was with 2 bad guys who really don’t appreciate good humour so I figured I may as well wrap this up. I stepped into the man with half a knife and elbowed him in the head. The other retaliated by throwing a plastic bottle at me that cracked on impact. The 30 cent perfume in the bottle smelt just as good, and half a second later I sneezed at the second man.

He promptly flew out the window and into a car next to the bench I was sitting on earlier setting off the car alarm.

“I have superbreath!” I screamed with delight; I inhaled and looked at the first man, blew my lungs out at him, and nothing happened.

I mean nothing, the loose papers didn’t even move.

“Oh crap” I said as he charged me and cracked me with a left hook.

I stumbled back then decided if I couldn’t blow him over I’d knock him over. I jumped and crash tacked him through the door and into the car where the other assailant was out cold.

Thankfully the cops showed up just then and arrested the men.

I walked into the disaster zone that was the newsagent. I spoke with Enrico “Do you need a hand tidying up” I said grabbing the papers

“Thank you” he said “But I think they want to take some pictures first” He pointed at two officers looking sternly at me

Taking my cue I left and dashed back around the corner, straight into a pile of bins and boxes

“Bloody hell” I said, ears still ringing as I changed back into my clothes. I grabbed my glasses I had put on a ledge and walked out the other end of the alley.

I walked back to the newsagent and the men had stopped taking their photos and were loading the assailants into their cars. Enrcico started to look at his newsagent.

“What happened here, are you ok Enrico?” I asked

“I’m fine Hannah. I was getting robbed but Hyperwoman saved the day. Unfortunately there was some collateral damage.” He said pointing

“Ahh is that normal? I mean who’s responsible for paying for that” I asked somewhat sheepishly.

“Fortunately as the police caught the men the city will pay for it and charge them for me, I just have to fill out on paperwork and I’ll get the money back. Hyperwoman saved the day, Did you see her?”

“No I didn’t” I said thinking fast “Let me help you” I said bending down and picking up some papers beside him
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28 Jan 2021 00:31 - 28 Jan 2021 00:38 #70300 by HikerAngel
Replied by HikerAngel on topic Authors: your favorite 'bit'
This is HARD! The bits that come to mind are:
  1. The climactic moment in Scroll of Destiny (can't share because it gives too much away)
  2. The scene where Vanessa comforts Audrey in Galatea.
  3. The murder scene in Thick as Thieves
  4. The scene where Dee breaks down in tears with her daughter in Full Bloom
  5. The scene where Murphy first sees Evelyn in A Day at the Office.
But I think I'll go with the failed seduction in Ripples in Reality, since it plays counter to what I usually write:

Cassie entered the room as Mr. Johnson quietly graded papers. Attempting to make her voice sound as sultry as possible, she channeled her favorite femme fatales from the movies.

“Hi, Mr. Johnson. Mind if I talk to you about something that’s been bothering me?”

“Sure,” he said, not looking up from the paper he was marking. “Have a seat, Cassie.” Well, he recognized her voice, at least. That was a start, she supposed.

Deciding not to take the proffered seat, Cassie circled his desk, taking care to brush her breasts against his arm. Finally, he looked up the contact drawing his eyes for the first time.

“Yes?” he asked her, twisting away so that his arm no longer touched her chest. Cassie hesitated, unsure whether she should step forward to contact his body again. Touching was the best way to flirt, right? But he was staring at her expectantly. It just didn’t seem natural at the moment.

“Um,” she said, still vacillating indecisively, succeeding only in adopting an awkward-looking posture. “About my grade…” 

“Your D+?” Mr. Johnson interrupted. “You think it’s too generous?” His voice was deadpan, and he sounded amused. He extended a hand to indicate that she should take a seat on the opposite side of her desk.

“Too generous?” If Cassie didn’t know better, she would have thought he was making fun of her. Shoulders slumping slightly, she walked around to the other side of his desk and took a seat. This wasn’t going as she had envisioned it.

“Yes, I considered a lower grade but tried to give you the benefit of the doubt.” Cassie attempted to bolster her rapidly deflating confidence, using the hands in her lap to furtively tug down her top. She leaned forward to maximize her cleavage. But Mr. Johnson’s eyes never strayed from her own.

Damn it! This seemed so much easier in the movies and shows that she’d seen! This guy didn’t seem attracted to her in the least! 

Setting her jaw, she redoubled her efforts. She blinked coquettishly, shifting in her seat. “Have you thought about other benefits? Not, you know, like benefits of the doubt?”

Hmm… that wasn’t quite the witty come-on she’d envisioned. She eyed him carefully for his reaction.

“Other benefits?”

Cassie swallowed nervously. Here goes… She reached out to place a hand over his, tucked in her chin, and spoke as suggestively as she could manage.

“Yes. Like with me. After class…” 

Mr. Johnson looked confused. “Like extra credit?”

“Something like that…” Cassie said in her best sultry purr, licking her glossy, red-coated lips seductively.

“Well, we’ll see. Maybe there’s a project I could have you do to help your grade. But now I need to head home. So is that all?”

From his expression, Cassie could tell that he was oblivious to her true meaning. Wasn’t he supposed to be putty in her hands by now? She attempted to think of something else to say or do, but kept coming up empty.

Mr. Johnson, meanwhile, shoved his papers in his bag and put on his coat. He left the classroom with a brief goodbye, leaving a frustrated Cassie stewing in his wake.

She let out a long sigh, slumping in her seat. She was pretty, wasn’t she? When she really tried, she should be able to attract a guy, shouldn’t she? Guys were supposed to like to look at sexy girls, weren’t they? Even in spite of their best intentions? Maybe her lack of true interest in him somehow shone through her attempted facade of seductiveness, diminishing its effect?

Whatever had done it, her attempt at persuading him to reconsider her grade had been a complete and utter failure. She bet that Supergirl wouldn’t have any such troubles if she decided to seduce someone. Too bad, she thought to herself for the hundredth time, she would never be that beautiful. Or that fit. Or that powerful. She rested her jaw in her hand, placing her elbow on Mr. Johnson’s worn, wooden desk. Maybe she should try to do this extra credit project of his instead. Doing more boring-as-hell history projects was hardly her idea of fun, but... 

Last edit: 28 Jan 2021 00:38 by HikerAngel.
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28 Jan 2021 01:13 #70301 by Markiehoe
Replied by Markiehoe on topic Authors: your favorite 'bit'
I always liked this set up.
The Space Patrol fleet is about to engage the 5th Dimension Invaders.
Captain Crispo has already lost one battle to the Invaders and is about to lead the fleet to destruction using the same tactics when Stormy Tempest goes into action.

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28 Jan 2021 17:35 - 28 Jan 2021 17:39 #70304 by The Highlander
Replied by The Highlander on topic Authors: your favorite 'bit'
My favourite scene would probably be Girls Aloud's super powered show from my Powering up Pop Stars story, although originally written as an interactive chapter several years ago. I was trying to write a suitably impressive and erotic display of strength but also something that was suitably cheesy like a real pop concert. I also made sure to give every member of Girls Aloud her own little section, although you can probably tell who my favourites are!

Satisfied with his changes so far, Alistair decided to sit back and enjoy the show. And what a show! Over the next few hours, the audience was treated to a collection of Girls Aloud’s greatest hits (most of which Alistair noticed had changed from the ones he remembered to reflect the new reality), interspersed with some of the most erotic and effortless displays of strength imaginable. Even better, the entire show was done extremely tongue in cheek, with girls behaving in a very casual manner all the way through. Of course, Alistair knew it was all an act, but he still enjoyed the group pretending as if it was normal for a group of young pop stars to play around with multi-ton weight like they were toys. As part of the show, there were plenty of casual displays using ‘traditional’ weights like dumbbells, but the numbers involved were astonishing. Ten-tonne dumbbells were curled or pressed overhead single-handed with ease, while even a giant barbell weighing a massive 50 tonnes proved no challenge for the girls to deadlift. At one point, after Cheryl complained about how light a 5-ton barbell was, she rested the weight across her prominent breasts. Although the thick metal bar sank a little into her soft flesh, Cheryl still had no difficulty supporting the weight and indeed bounced it up and down several times using just her pecs. The other girls tried similar tricks with other weights, culminating with Nicola's 'breast pressing' 20 tonnes before complaining that it was still too light for her. Of course, the sight of her lifting such an immense weight with the softest part of her body brought huge cheers from the audience.

In addition to the weight lifting, there were also a number of very one-sided tugs-of-war, with different members of the group effortlessly overpowering their opponents, human or machine. Sarah partially enjoyed herself as she casually overwhelmed a huge group of 100 men: holding them all at bay with one arm while making a big show of checking out her nails and chatting casually to the rest of the girls. She seemed utterly oblivious to the strain the mass of struggling humanity was exerting on her, and, when she finally got bored, Sarah pulled them all off her feet with one quick tug of her hand.
Meanwhile, the piles of concrete blocks and steel beams were used in a series of dramatic displays of destruction as the girls took turns crushing, twisting, snapping or grinding them into mangled piles of rubble. The heavy concrete blocks ranged in size from relatively small reinforced beams to giant cubes over two meters square, however, all of them offered as much resistance as dry kindling to these mighty young women. The smaller beams were broken over the group's knees or across their broad shoulders like twigs, while the larger blocks were hugged to the girl's chests and crushed until they shattered. Nadine had particular fun disposing of one medium-sized block. She casually wrapped her long legs around it and started to squeeze. The concrete shattered very quickly, but Nadine kept going until the concrete between her legs had been ground to powder by her mighty thighs.

Just as with the concrete blocks, there was a collection of different sized metal beams, from relatively small steel piping all the way up to gigantic meter-deep structural columns normally used to hold up skyscrapers. However, no matter how big the beams were, they all proved no match for the super-strong pop stars. All the girls took great pleasure destroying the beams, bending and twisting them like they were made of soft clay and not high-quality steel. Several of the smaller pipes were crumpled up into metal balls while the larger beams were bent in half or twisted into spirals. At one point Nicola asked Kimberly just how hard her famous 'iron bum' really was. In response, Kimberly picked one of the largest structural beams and held it behind her across her bottom. She proceeded to slowly bend the massive piece of metal across her backside, accompanied by loud groans from the tortured metal as it was forced to yield to her incredible strength. When she was finished, Kimberly held the mangled beam high in the air like a baton despite it weighing several tonnes. Everyone could clearly see the large indentation left in the metal, proving that Kimberly's famous bum was a lot harder than mere iron.

Alistair's favourite part of the show, however, was when Nicola faced off against the bulldozer. The mighty earthmoving machine clanked noisily across the concrete floor until it reached Nicola, who effortlessly stopped it in its tracks with her outstretched hands. The sound of the engine rose to a deafening bellow, and the tracks tore up the arena floor as the driver tried to overpower the muscular pop star to no avail. As the noise increased, Nicola leaned into the dozer blade to shout at the driver, taking her hands away as she did so to gesture to him over the noise while holding the machine in place with just her chest! After about a minute, Nicola appeared to give up, and with a shrug put her hands back on the blade and started to push. Unbelievably Nicola began driving the bulldozer backward, steadily forcing it all the way across the stage. Eventually, the engine gave up and broke, overwhelmed by the young pop star's sheer power. When Nicola stepped back from the machine, everyone could clearly see the two large dents her bulging breasts had left in the 'hard’ steel, showing that even her chest was capable of overwhelming the thick metal with ease. For the finale each of the girls picked one of the cars on the stage, handling the heavy vehicles like they were empty cardboard boxes. They then began to bend and crush their car into a ball, twisting and mangling the metal like paper. Soon each girl was holding a rough sphere of mangled steel, which they then proceeded to casually toss back and forth between themselves like they were beach balls rather than one-tonne lumps of metal! Nicola ended up juggling several of the crushed cars before 'accidentally' dropping one of them, leading to an almighty crash and some humorous acting from the girls. 
Last edit: 28 Jan 2021 17:39 by The Highlander.
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28 Jan 2021 19:45 #70305 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Authors: your favorite 'bit'
I guess my choice flip-flops between the final confrontation of "She's No Angel" and the trench fight of "Guns of the Highlands" .
The first is something that I had in me for years, but I was never able to put on paper until I saw "Rise of the Guardians", the second is inspired by some of my favorite war novels.
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