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Bionic Girl

09 May 2006 02:04 #5475 by ultragirl
Bionic Girl was created by ultragirl
I've decided to commit myself to this. I know its not much right now, and it will take time, but I want your input. (I want this to be good not just another strength-fest!)

Her we go:

She could hear voices. Her head pounded with the sound of them. Her body ached. More specific in some places, but those places only hurt more than the others. Jennifer opened her eyes. Light flooded them. It was too much, so she shut it out. She felt a cold draft over her skin. She was naked. She was vulnerable. She was too confused to feel fear, but the idea bit at the back of her mind. A sharp, tiny pain tingled up her arm. Just as her thoughts started to become clear, her body wanted to sleep. She fought, but the sleep was stronger.


“ I don’t suppose you could wear something…well…more…to our meetings?”

“No.”

“You find looking the part of a whore appropriate?”

“I only come here because you pay me enough to come back. I’m sure, however, that your enemies overseas would love to have someone like me around. However, for your future reference, if you ever call me a whore again.” Marina smiled. “I’ll bring this whole building down around your ears.”

It wasn’t confidence, just fact. Her body was one of the most powerful weapons in the world. She had been built for war. She had also been built for passion. She wore both purposes under each breast tattooed in her native tongue. The right was adorned with “warfare”, her right was "passion." The tattoo artist had mentioned that working her skin was like working metal.

She was short, even for female standards. That was prearranged. She was still of middle eastern flavor and they wanted to keep her unimposing. Though, with the way she moved and stood, one would never notice. She had been attractive to begin with. Biotechnology made her nearly perfect. Her eyes were creamy caramel. Her hair long and brown (need more description). The look of her skin told nothing of its incredible durability. So soft to the touch, yet stronger than most any armor man had to offer. Her muscles were sleek and flowed like the lines of an Italian supercar. They got it right with her. Unfortunately for the Iranian government, she knew it.

“No need for any dramatics, my dear. I merely thought that I’d hired a professional mercenary, not a professional hooker.”

“In either case, you’ve got the best money can buy.” Marina winked. She palmed a heavy, golden apple from his desk. Her teeth sheared into the metal as if it were any other apple. She chewed for a moment and gulped the piece down. What was left of the apple was dropped into his lap. He examined her finger impressions along the apple’s surface.

“Sorry, I was hungry.”

“Yes, I see.” He eyed her. She was arrogant. What could he do?

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09 May 2006 02:38 #5476 by happiest_in_shadows
Replied by happiest_in_shadows on topic Re: Bionic Girl
I think it is a nice beginning though I hope she has the loyalty to match her arrogance at least when it comes to whomever modified her body. That is assuming they are still alive. If she is working solo and on some level even if she isn’t working solo I hope that she has the intelligence needed to improve upon her own design.

After all if she quits improving, quits getting stronger and those that made her are still alive what is to stop them from making one that is more powerful?

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09 May 2006 03:08 #5477 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Re: Bionic Girl

I think it is a nice beginning though I hope she has the loyalty to match her arrogance at least when it comes to whomever modified her body. That is assuming they are still alive. If she is working solo and on some level even if she isn’t working solo I hope that she has the intelligence needed to improve upon her own design.

After all if she quits improving, quits getting stronger and those that made her are still alive what is to stop them from making one that is more powerful?


Exactly!

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09 May 2006 18:38 #5483 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic Re: Bionic Girl
More, more!

Do you realize how much I've been STARVING for more Ultragirl fiction? No followup to "Obsolete." No more of "Walking Tall." Ditto "The Popcorn War." Not even any new entries in your blog in -- how long? Conceptfan may be content with that, but I'M not.

You're so much more than a pretty face with an invulnerable body. You're one of the best writers we have; even Duane Perkins should be able to tell that from what little we've seen.

So, the moment you've despatched the latest bunch of bank robbers, mad bombers or door-to-door salesmen, sit thee down at the keyboard -- and make literary magic!

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10 May 2006 03:17 #5488 by happiest_in_shadows
Replied by happiest_in_shadows on topic A few more thoughts.
I hope you don't mind but I figured I would throw a few thoughts your way.

I don’t know if Marina can work on herself or not but assuming that there is some work that she can’t do upon herself. It could be interesting how she goes about deciding on who can work on her or not. Even if she is nearly invulnerable on the outside it seems to me that it would take a lot of trust for her to allow someone to open her up in order to make some form of upgrade or repairs.

It could be interesting seeing how she goes about securing her safety or if she trusts that person enough to make herself vulnerable.

Of course a part of me also wonders about the subject of a bionic girl that is meant purely to destroy. Marina, seems to have been designed to conceal exactly what she was. So what are the odds that the organization that made her developed a model whose purpose was simply all out destruction?

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10 May 2006 03:19 #5489 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Re: Bionic Girl

I think it is a nice beginning though I hope she has the loyalty to match her arrogance at least when it comes to whomever modified her body. That is assuming they are still alive. If she is working solo and on some level even if she isn’t working solo I hope that she has the intelligence needed to improve upon her own design.

After all if she quits improving, quits getting stronger and those that made her are still alive what is to stop them from making one that is more powerful?


Exactly!


Note that Marina is not the main character here. More will be revealed about her as the story progresses. Marina is a one off. When she was made, she was perfect. Improving on herself, as she sees it, would be pointless. In her mind, there is nothing to improve. Makes sense when every man desires you and no military can beat you.

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10 May 2006 15:04 #5490 by happiest_in_shadows
Replied by happiest_in_shadows on topic Re: Bionic Girl
Interesting, that doesn’t seem like the type of attitude that keeps one at the top. I suppose she doesn’t stop to consider that technology isn’t exactly staying at its current levels.

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10 May 2006 19:31 #5492 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Re: Bionic Girl

Interesting, that doesn’t seem like the type of attitude that keeps one at the top. I suppose she doesn’t stop to consider that technology isn’t exactly staying at its current levels.


She doesn't. That's called a character flaw. ;) You're right about her so far. I just don't want to give the story away.

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12 May 2006 11:51 #5502 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic Re: Bionic Girl
More, more!

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15 Sep 2006 17:03 #6830 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Re: Bionic Girl
At Brantley's request, alittle more:

“Yes, I see.” He eyed her. She was arrogant. He loved that about her. Though, her arrogance wasn’t unwarranted. His introduction to her was by live video feed from a Mexican base housing a group of militants. There was nothing particularly special about the target. The idea was to provide a sort of portfolio of her ability.

He was given an overhead layout of the base to orient himself. He hadn’t much time to do so before he saw a shadow streak across the long field between the wood line and the high security fence. She stopped short and placed her hands her hips which swayed to one side as her weight shifted. He didn’t have to wonder why she paused there for too long. Her talents were on show in more ways than one. She was naked from head to toe except for a shiny application of camo paint covering every inch of her perfect skin. The perfection of her skin wasn’t so simple as aesthetic, however. A strange sound, much like leather being slapped, surprised him. Marina was an easy, willing, and unmoving target for the guards. She seemed perfectly comfortable under the rain of bullets not bothering at all to protect her body or face in any manner.

Astonished, he found himself moving closer to the screen. He had a strange smile that only widened when rocket grenades seemed not to have anymore effect than small arms. She appeared to be enjoying herself as well while her weight would shift bringing her hips swaying to the other side. He had been sold by then, but by no means wanted the feed to stop. He said nothing as a very one-sided battle was fought on his flat screen.

Her arms crossed over her chest. She looked over the group of armed men smugly. They had since called in one of the many APC’s kept on tap. It’s spinning barrel spitting larger caliber rounds at her at an incredible rate that only she could see. Her soft lips curled in a smirk. Clearly, their best wasn’t good enough. The pile of brass at her feet was becoming a mound. Shrapnel tickled her legs.

She finally dropped her hands to her side and calmly strode to the fence. Her stride remained even and graceful. Her smile remained arrogant. He hadn’t actually seen her do it, but she opened her fist to show a small handful of deformed rounds. As she walked, she flicked them. The militants around her began to take cover. Several of their comrades seemed to flop over like popped balloons.

She reached out to grasp the fence and looked genuinely surprised as energy danced over her body. Her breath was ragged as she swooned. He stirred. The entire grid discharged through her uselessly, emergency lights all over the small compound opened. She seemed to take a moment to catch her breath before ripping open the frail links of the fence.

A brave soldier charged her with his bayonet to her stomach. She raised her arms slightly providing him the open attempt and watched the blade snap against her. His clumsy hands released his rifle. Marina snatched it from him in a blur. With a bit of artistic flair, and faster than his human eye could follow, she twisted the weapon into the shape of a poodle. Not unlike a clown shapes balloon animals. She passed it back into his arms. Her hand shoved him out of the picture. Eric assumed he landed many miles away somewhere in the jungle. Many others were tossed about in every direction. She looked like a girl picking petals from a flower.

The APC joined him somewhere in the skies over Mexico. The entire compound was leveled in 5 minutes and 37 seconds. He watched her walk from the wreckage while she dusted her hands off. She was careful to step over the bodies that littered the battlefield. She scanned the area for a moment. Satisfied, she winked in the direction of the camera and leapt away over the treetops.

“Are you still with me?”

“Uh? Oh, yes. So you’ll do it then?”

“The price is right. Sounds like fun. I am at your service.”

“Excellent. Your flight leaves in the morning. You’ll meet with your contact where we discussed.”

“Don’t bother with the flight.” She winked. “I’ve been needing a good swim.”

“Will you be there on time?”

“I’m shocked you’d even ask me that question. There is a beach near the airstrip. Tell him to meet me there. I’ll be early.”



“How do you feel?”

“Like I was hit by a truck.”

“I’d imagine. They worked you over pretty good. It took us awhile to find you. I only wish we could have gotten to you sooner.”

“I’m surprised I’m still alive.”

Peter and the General looked at each other. Reserved, the general replied, “We did lose you there for a moment, Jessica.”

She attempted to raise her head. Pain shot down her right side so she thought better of it.

“Take it easy. You did die. We had to revive you. You’ve been in intensive care for awhile.”

“How long?”

“Days. Some of you we had to remake. Very little of you was left, Jesse.”
“Wait. What do you mean remake? What’s going on?” Her head spun as she tried rising again. A nurse pushed her to the bed gently.

“Please, you need to rest. We can talk…”

“Now. We can talk now. What happened?”

“I’ll let Sergeant Crowson explain. You two catch up. We’ll get you back on your feet in no time, Jessica. Better than ever.”

The general left the room quickly before Jessica built the strength to protest. She turned to her friend.

“Peter?”

“Like the man said. You died on us. IT was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch. I couldn’t let you go out like that, so I pulled some strings.” He gestured toward the door. “Your arms, your legs, were crushed. You’d been stabbed numerous times throughout your torso. Your spine was snapped in two places. The list goes on. You passed just as we’d gotten to you. Geez, Jesse. You were a mess.”

She could see Peter’s face tighten. She saw the toll it had taken on him. Peter felt her hand on his.

“You been given a second chance, girl. Only this time, it’s a better one.”

“What are talking about?”

“Do you remember the experiments being held in Nevada? We had the twelve test subjects.”

“Yeah, the whole super soldier nutroll. They all died during testing, didn’t they?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Their bodies were unable to cope with the rapid change and we lost them one by one.”

“What, exactly does that have to do—wait, no. What have you done?” Jessica raised her eyebrows.

“Now before you jum—“

“Jump to conclusions? Did it work?”

“Huh? Okay, that’s not quite the reaction I was expecting.”

“Talk.” She looked anxiously at Peter.

“It worked.” Peter paused for her. “The process worked, Jesse. Your body took to the enhancement. Of course, we don’t know to what degree, it’s all still experimental, but it seemed to work.”

Jessica closed her eyes. When she’d heard of the program, she had been one of the first to volunteer. Peter never knew that. After the disaster it had been, it was probably best. It was amazing to watch those women work. They were so fast and powerful. They seemed unstoppable.

Agent Jesse sighed. “So, what happens next?”

“You just rest up. We’ll put you through your paces when you recover. I promise you won’t be disappointed.”

“I hope not.” She smiled.


Marina rose from the ocean water clearing the remaining thirty meters to the shore high above the water. Her knees bent slightly to absorb her weight upon landing. Her wet hair matted against her naked skin. She bent her head over squeezing the water from her long mane.

Roland spotted her rooster tail long before she arrived. He watched as she leapt from the foam onto the beach. She acted as though it was the most natural thing. “…Swam the whole Atlantic? God, she’s incredible.”

She waved at him. He replied the same.

“Even from here she’s a work of ar…wait, where did she just—“

Marina hopped into the air and crossed the distance landing behind him. He never heard it.

“Boo.”

Surprised, he reacted pulling his pistol on her. She quickly pinched the barrel off.

“Dammit, you scared the crap out of me!”

“You’re too on edge, Roland.” Marina smirked. “You need to get laid.”

“And you fucked my gun up!” He looked at his flattened, and shorter, barrel. Marina turned the gun over in her hand. She rolled her eyes. He watched as his gun tore into the sky over her shoulder like a comet.

“You know how I feel about guns.”

“How convenient it is, then, that you don’t need one. Of course, the rest of us…”

“Too true. Did you bring my clothes?”

“You actually going to wear any? I’m shocked.” He presented her small outfit to her.

“Are you complaining?”

“Not…at…all.”

She liked Roland. He was one of the few who still believed in honor among thieves. (More about him.)

“How do I look?”

“Amazing, as usual.”

“Thanks. We’ll be seeing you, stud.” Marina blasted down the beach on foot. Roland dusted the sand from her rooster tail off. He watched as she took to the freeway darting between the cars.

“How does she keep such a low profile?”



Jesse pressed up on the Olympic barbell counting off her thirteenth repetition. With perfect control and form she lowered it to her chest. Peter stood over her to help if need arose.

“You know, you’re not going to be much help if I can’t get this up.” She pressed the bar up once more. Peter looked at each end doing some mental math.

“Moral support.” He smiled.

“I knew I kept you around for something!” She pressed the bar up once more then set it in the cradles.

“You know, I was hoping things would be moving along faster than this. I’ve been working at this for two weeks now. I was hoping to be taking on small countries by now.” Jessica pouted.

Peter couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s not that simple, Jess. Your brain is still wired for the old Jess’s body. It’s going to take it some time to get super Jess out of you. Once we break that plateau, then we’ll really see what you can do.”
“I know, I know. I’m just restless, I guess. Hey, doc!” Peter started looking around not ever hearing anyone come in.

“Very good, Jessica.” He emerged from the doorway. “I see you’re becoming more aware. That’s good.”

“Thanks. I just wish I could do more.”

“It will take time. The brain…”

“Needs to ‘re-wire’ itself. So I keep hearing.” She slumped. “I need a shower. See you at chow, Petey?”

“I’m buying!”

“Cute.” She glared. “Doc? You need anything from me?”

“Just wanted to get some vitals, but it can wait.”

“Okay, boys. I’m off.” Both men watched as Jessica walked to the locker rooms.

“Hot just doesn’t say it.” Peter spoke.

“The results are spectacular, to say the least.” The doctor replied.

In the locker room, Jessica was looking at herself in the mirror again. So much had changed over the two weeks. She looked younger like she was twenty again. The years of athletics that had affected her body were gone. All the injuries from the torture had disappeared. Long sensuous lines of muscle raced over her frame. She’d never had muscles before. She had always been solid, but never like this. Yet despite the hard muscle, she had all the feminine curves the perfect woman would have. She allowed her body to dry as she looked herself over for once more. Even her teeth had evened out. Her emerald green eyes seemed brighter. Her skin was healthy and smooth.

“Well, you look the part.” She told herself. “So what’s keeping you?”

Jessica tried to look busy dressing when another woman entered the locker room. It was bad enough that jealousy was running rampant, she didn’t need one of the other female operatives catching her checking herself out in the mirror.

“Hey, Jess!”

Jessica slipped on her spaghetti tank and jeans. “Hey.”

“You’re looking great. Been hitting the gym hard, huh?”

“You could say that.” Jessica buttoned her jeans and tied her Nikes. She smiled at the other operative before gathering her things and leaving. Jessica heard her comment at the door, ignored it, and went to her dinner date with Peter.

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16 Sep 2006 04:23 #6836 by yaracyrrah
Replied by yaracyrrah on topic Re: Bionic Girl
Excellent.

--Y

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16 Sep 2006 21:07 #6839 by Velvet
Replied by Velvet on topic Re: Bionic Girl
Agreed. Some glitches here and there that Velvet and I found, but really good. Will send you an edited file soon.

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16 Sep 2006 21:33 #6840 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Re: Bionic Girl
There will be glitches. I'm not as conserned right away, but I appreciate you looking it over and such. The finished chapter will be polished.

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18 Sep 2006 18:38 #6849 by brantley
Replied by brantley on topic Re: Bionic Girl
You should have edits by now. Pretty minor stuff.

So, will Marina and Jessica be alliee or enemies? Or, more precisely, will they be hired by allied or opposing groups? If it has to get tough between them but NOT personal, that would actually be more intetesinbg than the usual grudge sort of thing, done so phonily on those wrestling shows.

You've got a great style, and a real passion for writing even if you don't have sufficient time for it yet. Here's hoping you can make $ at it pne of these days!

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19 Sep 2006 01:54 #6852 by ultragirl
Replied by ultragirl on topic Re: Bionic Girl

You should have edits by now. Pretty minor stuff.

So, will Marina and Jessica be alliee or enemies? Or, more precisely, will they be hired by allied or opposing groups? If it has to get tough between them but NOT personal, that would actually be more intetesinbg than the usual grudge sort of thing, done so phonily on those wrestling shows.

You've got a great style, and a real passion for writing even if you don't have sufficient time for it yet. Here's hoping you can make $ at it pne of these days!


Thanks.

Jessica isn't "hired" as you say. She is already gainfully employed. Your tax dollars at work. Marina is a bad guy. That's all I'll say about that one. There will be other characters eventually. I just need more time...

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