The LaPorte Caves - Revised

I have begun posting the revision of LPC.  This week’s installment — the Prologue through Chapter 4 —is about 28,000 words.  Future installments will be closer to 5,000 words.
For those of you that have read this story before, changes to the first part of the story are generally small in scope: trying to achieve better flow of the story and getting some key logistics right.  More fundamental changes begin in Chapter 8.
Therefore, for all but the truly devoted, these first chapters will feel almost identical to the previous version.  For those few of you who did become engrossed in the original, you will find that the changes in the first seven chapters more interesting, as they have a big impact on how thing play out later.
Whether or not you’ve seen the story before, I hope you enjoy it!

BOOM!!!

Christmas came early.  So great to have you back.  Your commitment to keeping your nose to the grindstone, persevere and finish the job is truly admirable.  Thanks my friend.  I cannot wait to dig in!

Great News to make a Good Friday, Circes!

I’m confused.  Have they been posted yet?

They’ve been submitted.  When they get posted is up to the admins. 

Already read through, it is one of my favorites after all.  The differences are subtle, but if you paid attention to the first go around, you’ll spot them.  Seeing the changes, I can understand why and that means we’re in for a ride!

i know this story isn’t centered around power and feats, but I’m curious to see if Julia will ever discover her limits?  I’m not a numbers guy, but I do like to see just how powerful a character is.  

Edit:  Better yet, if I know now it’ll ruin it.  I’d  rather be shown.

jnw550 wrote: Already read through, it is one of my favorites after all.  The differences are subtle, but if you paid attention to the first go around, you’ll spot them.  Seeing the changes, I can understand why and that means we’re in for a ride!

I only really noticed one difference; curious, of course, what circes will do with it. There were changes I was expecting which didn't happen, and for which I'm grateful.

Looking forward to the next installment already.

I didn’t read them side by side, so I may be remembering incorrectly.  Like you, Im curious as well.

Glad to see the revised version. Wonder what it will give! 

Thanks everyone for the support!  

I’m taking a little while to post 1-4 on ALove, and then should be ready to post Ch 5 on both platforms.

Great Work Circes

circes_cup wrote: Thanks everyone for the support!  

I’m taking a little while to post 1-4 on ALove, and then should be ready to post Ch 5 on both platforms.

Looks like Ch. 4 is up on ALove ... Awesome.  Can't wait for the next installments!   

Thanks guys!   I believe 5-6 will be part of the weekly story posting this week.

Hi Circes. I'll try pm you with an idea with your great re-work. I don't want to be hitting any potential spoilers here!

I love the little changes I see so far.  They are not as minor as you suggested.  They give the story more depth and open up more avenues for the plot.

Really, great!

BrokenIron wrote: I love the little changes I see so far.  They are not as minor as you suggested.  They give the story more depth and open up more avenues for the plot.

That’s great!  I hadn’t been sure about whether the early changes would be visible to anyone, but glad that you are seeing them and liking them!

I thought I knew where the original version of the story was going, but I'll never know. Just when I think I have a sense of where the new version is going, it seems to shift. In the previous chapter, Julia was agreeing with Howard how wrong it was to claim a man as a possession, and that they'd be a team looking for the way home. At the end of chapter 7 she starts thinking that all the other men there are happy and that Howard should be, too. At the beginning of the chapter, she plans to go swimming with Ruth before exploring the caves; by the end she's thanking Ruth for talking her out of spending the day in the caves.

That's not meant as a criticism. I think it just paints Julia as a character who wants to please whoever she happens to be with at a given moment. It also has the effect of keeping a fair amount of suspense in the story.

Pepper wrote: I thought I knew where the original version of the story was going, but I'll never know. Just when I think I have a sense of where the new version is going, it seems to shift. In the previous chapter, Julia was agreeing with Howard how wrong it was to claim a man as a possession, and that they'd be a team looking for the way home. At the end of chapter 7 she starts thinking that all the other men there are happy and that Howard should be, too. At the beginning of the chapter, she plans to go swimming with Ruth before exploring the caves; by the end she's thanking Ruth for talking her out of spending the day in the caves.

That's not meant as a criticism. I think it just paints Julia as a character who wants to please whoever she happens to be with at a given moment. It also has the effect of keeping a fair amount of suspense in the story.

Thanks Pepper!  In my head, I had pictureed her less as someone who is ingratiating and more as someone who is torn between what she is supposed to want and what she actually does want.  And I viewed the physical power she experiences as the facilitator for this tension — the body leading the mind to consinder a life she had previously viewed as objectionable.  To the degree that doesn’t come though, it’s the fault of the writer and not the reader!

circes_cup wrote: Thanks Pepper!  In my head, I had pictureed her less as someone who is ingratiating and more as someone who is torn between what she is supposed to want and what she actually does want.  And I viewed the physical power she experiences as the facilitator for this tension — the body leading the mind to consinder a life she had previously viewed as objectionable.  To the degree that doesn’t come though, it’s the fault of the writer and not the reader!

I wasn't thinking of Julia as ingratiating, just as someone who's more a follower than a leader. On Earth, that was out of necessity; her attempts to establish her own life and identity hadn't gone very well. In this new world (whatever it's called) I think she's a follower out of force of habit.

Which doesn't bode well for Howard. If it becomes a question of who has more sway over Julia, Howard or Ruth, I don't like his chances. At that point it's more a question of whether Julia becomes her own woman or not.

At least for the moment. After chapter 8 I'll probably have a different idea.

Just posted 8b, which contains the first truly new material in the revised version of the story.

I just uploaded 9d, which the admins will post when they are ready.  

Future postings will probably be on a once-every-other week schedule.  Real life has been very busy.  Woking on the story requires a certain amount of calm and emotional space that is hard to find when the rest of life is so hectic!

circes_cup wrote: I just uploaded 9d, which the admins will post when they are ready.  

Future postings will probably be on a once-every-other week schedule.  Real life has been very busy.  Woking on the story requires a certain amount of calm and emotional space that is hard to find when the rest of life is so hectic!

We are just grateful to be able to read whenever you do have time to post.

HikerAngel wrote:

circes_cup wrote: I just uploaded 9d, which the admins will post when they are ready.  

Future postings will probably be on a once-every-other week schedule.  Real life has been very busy.  Woking on the story requires a certain amount of calm and emotional space that is hard to find when the rest of life is so hectic!

We are just grateful to be able to read whenever you do have time to post.

I totally agree HikerAngel. The work from circes is well worth the wait.