She Hulk

Background on this story:

About a Year and a half ago now i wrote a story Called 'Paradise', which the premise of "How would you do A Wonder Woman Movie as a Modern Warner Brothers DC Movie". There was some question about it online. Its a tricky subject. And i know from information that the current Movie is nothing like it i don't mind.

I wrote the followup soon after for She Hulk. Another character who is kinda problematic to write- my premise this time since Marvel/ Disney has the rights-"How would you do a She Hulk Movie in the MCU"

This is well and good-except that in Agents of Shield they introduced one of the characters in the story just when i was about to publish it-and well the story sat in the chest as the expression goes for over a year-and watched avengers 2 change more of it. But recently i gave it a reread, and founded i enjoyed it. I can't really fix the character, but could do a little rewriting for the avengers stuff. And was pointed out in an interview, they don't necessairly consider Agents of Shield Cannon.

So we have this the first chapter, which is supposed to be theoretical First act in a movie. Like a First act in A superhero movie there isn't necessarily a lot of well....but hope people enjoy it and stick with it. Would love comments on it.

I like the depiction of Jen as an artsy hipster. Great update!

AuGoose wrote: Alright, I'd overlooked this little foray into the Marvel (cinematic, I think) universe but I'm watching now . She-hulk's not my favorite but that may come from a general lack of enthusiasm for the Hulk mythos. That said there's some good craft at work here and a love of the characters. I'm interested and eager for more as part five looks to be hitting its stride.

And "evolutionary speed chess" is simply too damn good to not go into my bag of trick for some future moment of awesome. Love that tune of phrase.

Thanks for this and other kind words. Chapter 6 is the last one and the climax to the tale.

Looking back however i do think this is one of my least sucsefull stories. In the desire for self Critique i can find a couple of points.

1. Was Reading a reivew once of the movie "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman"( a movie that may be of intrest to people here) and they commented that "Nancy just spends most of the movie in her room"(which doesn't make a lot of sence).
I do however a little bit of that here. Jenn is a pretty passive character. At the end of Chapter 2 she goes with the goverment, and more or less stays with them for the rest of the story. I contrive up some action sequences for her, but thats kinda what it is. She goes with the flow. That is more or less her character in the comics, but not super intresting.
At the end of Chapter 2 she gets arrested, and shot-but still calmly goes with it. Honestly that was one of the first scenes i came up with and to a degree wrote the story around it. And its not a bad scene, from an overall superhero narrative its tricky.
2. Theres the expression in writing of "Second act problems". Chapters 1 and 2 i think are well paced, little hoots. Chapter 6 the climax i think is good, little action climax which i speak for myself had some fun bits. Chapter 3-5 i think is where the problem is, as its a little long perhaps a little repetitive as i kind of move characters to devolop Jenn and her three antagonists to where they need to be. Its tricky. If i where to do it agian i maybe try harder to get it done faster, and spend less time in goverment labs.
3. The story has the heroes(jenn and her friends) going on there plot....and the villians and there plot. And really until the climax when its time to fight there largely seperate. Sure the villian is vaugely plotting agianst Jenn but she doesn't know it. This does create kind of sepeate plots, and takes away a certain menace from the Jenn story-which really doesn't have much in the way of threat to it- until the end. As i said, i think the end is good but thats my own call.

All of this-i do think there is a couple of good bits here, a lot of intresting writing. Evolutionary Speed Chess is something i am sure i have heard before, but honestly i may have made it up as i can't find any refrence to it. I like
"Normal? who wants to be normal? Have you met normal people" myself as a good villan speech, and there are bits here and there through out the story that i do think is generally kind of witty and fun-and that does goes for it.

Cause as i have said- this is a marvel movie story and Marvel Movies can be pretty damm funny sometime. There known for there witt, cute characters and clever bits.But i have said-not always great action or plotting. These are all flaws i have seen before in MCU movies before-and in that sence i think i got some of that as well.

But Glad i published it and hope others enjoy it. Was an intresting experience as a writer, one i am planning to play with some more in the future.

I definitely enjoyed it. I thought your Titania reflected her crazed berserker behavior really well especially.

Agent00Soul wrote: I definitely enjoyed it. I thought your Titania reflected her crazed berserker behavior really well especially.

Thanks. Was doing the dark Mirror thing obviously, but to me One of the intresting ideas of Titania is that she is a character who was a normal happier then she thought girl at one point-but gave it all up to be a supervillian strong woman. She lost something in the process-but she doesn't realize it. She fundementally lost her humanity in the normal sence, and kind of tragically can't picture it. She was so focused on gaining all power in the world, she as the expression goes lost her soul.