SuperStarter

Okay, I'm cutting off the second round of voting now. I actually made a spreadsheet for this story--that's a first!

This is where things will stand at the start of Episode 3:

HANNAH
POWER RND 1 RND 2 TOTAL
Strength 143 923 1066
Invulnerability 143 480 623
Speed 36 101 137
Flight 36 29 65
Laser Eyes 25 11 36
X-Ray Eyes 25 15 40
Superbreath 25 20 45
Telepathy 54 24 78
Telekinesis 54 18 72
Total 541 1621 2162

SERENA
POWER RND 1 RND 2 TOTAL
Strength 268 1523 1791
Invulnerability 268 452 720
Speed 74 937 1011
Flight 74 383 457
Laser Eyes 51 83 134
X-Ray Eyes 51 82 133
Superbreath 51 89 140
Telepathy 162 481 643
Telekinesis 162 374 536
Total 1161 4404 5565


I have a feeling that the voting trends may change after this upcoming episode, though.

Episode 3 = submitted. Check back on Sunday to vote on both costumes and the size of Ultraman's package packages of powers.

Audience members each get to vote in both the Hannah-powers poll and the Serena-powers poll, right? That's the way the user interface appears to me, anyway.

So how does Hannah have so many fewer votes overall?

Does so much of the audience not want Hannah to increase in any power???

~ ~ ~

Other idea; I don't want to clutter the poll options too much, just throwing it out there: what we've seen so far are standard superhero-powers. Important for the Two to have, they probably won't last long in the Fairness League without some invulnerability and such.

But those certainly aren't the only things occupying the imaginations of Superwomenmania fans when reading updates on these two.

Could Hannah become more sensual? Serena more empathetic? How are their karaoke skills? Does S. Serpent speak parseltongue? Are attractiveness and charisma things that the device increases directly, or are they sort of a holistic by-product from the empowerment process in general?

Is super-intelligence an option? Enough to reverse-engineer the Xinth technology? Or what if someone were to gain a power that let them directly learn from beings of millennia past?

And I am sure Serena and at least a few of her fans are imagining what it would be like for her to have power-transfer abilities.

In any case, thank you all and the Fairness League for giving us this chance to see our imaginings take on a life of their own.

I voted for just Serena and didn't give any to Hannah. That's how I want the story to go on and evidently a lot of people as well.

gracilis wrote: Could Hannah become more sensual? Serena more empathetic?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Character_arc

^^^

Costume voting? This is getting better and better! 

Is round 3 already over or do I still have time? I'd like to pitch in!

Edit: Done (phew). And whelp, that's a lotta votes for Hanna this time it seems, not to spoil anything very happy about that

Whatever wrote: Costume voting? This is getting better and better! 

Is round 3 already over or do I still have time? I'd like to pitch in!

Edit: Done (phew). And whelp, that's a lotta votes for Hanna this time it seems, not to spoil anything very happy about that

You have plenty of time. I’ll probably cut off episode 3 voting Thursday morning. Glad you like the costume voting! Next week, there will be superhero name voting...

I'm a little surprised. Over 6,400 views on episode 3 (thank you so much for reading/voting, everyone!), and a major twist in the tale, but crickets as far as messages and thread responses.

The views mean people are engaged, reading and voting, so that's good! I thought I might get more messages or posts, either upset or delighted after this chapter.

Thoughts, anyone? Enjoying the story? Do you like where Hannah's headed? Serena? Anything that you would like to see more/less of?

I does look as if Hannah will be MASSIVELY powerful after this round of voting... that should be fun!

Can't speak for others but I've been getting errors all over the place when I try to post anything. 

Absolutely loved the chapter and based on votes your turnaround twist worked wonderfully. It does feel a bit forced, but still better than turning the story into a blowout power wise after just 3 chapters 

Yeah tons of errors on the forum for the past few days. I feel so betrayed by Serena.

Thanks, guys, for the input. I was hoping it wouldn't feel too forced. I tried to set up the Hannah shift a little in episode 2, but I didn't want to do too much and give it away. I didn't imagine her arc going the way it did in the beginning of the story, but when I saw how the voting was turning out, I tried to imagine what she would be feeling. She clearly had a desire to be a superheroine in the first episode, so when Serena was pulling far ahead of her, I suddenly realized what Hannah would do, and it made the plot twist come together.

Sorry about Serena's betrayal! I had Serena's backstory as some sort of spy roughly in mind from the beginning, though I wasn't sure where her arc would take her, not that it's completely defined yet. With where I felt Hannah needed to go after the first two rounds of voting, it confirmed the direction that I needed to go with Serena. Her backstory is how she had such an easy time getting into the Two, knowing where the blue column of light would be, etc. It's also why she had training in fighting.

Mainly, as Revan stated, I want to keep this thing interesting for me and for everyone. If everything remains as it first appears and just chugs along, it could become boring fast. Now, all options are still on the table.

I'm trying to write this story as I would play a strategy game. Set up options and possible moves, then react to what the other player does accordingly... it's a lot of fun!

I hope that you guys bear with me for the ride, there's plenty more to come in my little tale about fame..

Wow... just checked the voting, and HOLY HANNAH!!!

It's looking like she's going to be seriously amazing in episode 4!

I'm going to have to wrack my brain for some sufficient descriptions to show just how enormously powerful our little Hannah is becoming!

Guess it shows that SWM shouldn't ever be in control of real power-granting capabilities. We'll give it to literally the least deserving people ever and can be manipulated like putty.

barber wrote: Guess it shows that SWM shouldn't ever be in control of real power-granting capabilities. We'll give it to literally the least deserving people ever and can be manipulated like putty.

Come on now, Barber, it’s just a story and just for fun!

Holy hell, Hanna will be absolutely glorious after this one! 

Now I've gotta ask- in which ballpark were the likes of Galaxy Girl supposed to be? Hanna was giving her a hard time this chapter, in the next she can probably walk through that reallyverytoughium wall without noticing it's there. 

Whatever wrote: Holy hell, Hanna will be absolutely glorious after this one! 

Now I've gotta ask- in which ballpark were the likes of Galaxy Girl supposed to be? Hanna was giving her a hard time this chapter, in the next she can probably walk through that reallyverytoughium wall without noticing it's there. 

I was thinking of Galaxy Girl's strength/speed/invulnerability being in the 1,000 ballpark. Ultraman's strength/speed/invulnerability are around 2,000, and he is the most powerful "super" on earth. So yeah, Hannah is looking powerful AF right about now! Hopefully, I can do her justice in this next episode. I'll certainly give it my best shot! There is far more participation in the voting than I originally imagined... which makes me really happy!

That "reallyverytoughium" thing was a placeholder as I wrote to put in something else, but I forgot to replace it in the first episode, so I continued to roll with it. I kinda like it now...

fats wrote: for those who are getting errors in posting can you please send me a screenshot of the errors so that i can sort them out.

Tadaa! 

@Hiker: I guess you'll have to adjust your power scale by a LOT, or stop voting for powers every week or Hannah will hit godhood by next week at the latest  

Revan wrote: @Hiker: I guess you'll have to adjust your power scale by a LOT, or stop voting for powers every week or Hannah will hit godhood by next week at the latest  

It's a little too late. I already showed Serena's 1500ish strength + 500 telekinesis essentially matching Ultraman in combat in the last chapter. If the voters want a goddess, then a goddess they shall have...

I think I can keep it interesting for another three-ish episodes or so, even with goddess Hannah (or Serena if she can manage a comeback). I have a few ideas...

HikerAngel wrote:

Revan wrote: @Hiker: I guess you'll have to adjust your power scale by a LOT, or stop voting for powers every week or Hannah will hit godhood by next week at the latest  

It's a little too late. I already showed Serena's 1500ish strength + 500 telekinesis essentially matching Ultraman in combat in the last chapter. If the voters want a goddess, then a goddess they shall have...

I think I can keep it interesting for another three-ish episodes or so, even with goddess Hannah (or Serena if she can manage a comeback). I have a few ideas...

Looking forward to reading them! 

The most intriguing thing at this point in the vote is Hannah's costume. It's too close to call at this point. To show off her chiseled abs or her bodacious breasts... that, it appears, is the question...

Serena's costume appears to be set. The slinky black number is looking like the clear winner.

I probably should have taken more time to choose good costume options, but I was mostly focused on the writing and just did a quick Google search for costume pictures.

If anyone has name options for the next poll, I would love to hear them. This is what I have brainstormed so far:

HANNAH

• Golden Goddess
• Goddess Girl
• Heavenly Hannah
• Ultragirl
• Ultrawoman
• Glory Girl
• Dark Goddess

SERENA

• Spy Girl
• Sexy Spy
• Super Spy
• Striking Serpent
• Slithering Serpent
• Surreptitious Striker

Gotta admit, I didn't see this twist coming, but I also am not fully happy with it. It nicely explains how Serena got to be one of the Two, as she had it too easy before.

But Hannah's development was rather extreme. We go from a bit of frustration to a start of darkness without any real trigger other than being second in a popularity contest twice now. Her primary concern in her first supervillain fight is to prevent him from messing with her chances of getting more power - for a telepath like Serena who has been reading her like a book it should be obvious something is wrong with her.

In addition to that the two veteran supers are a bit too passive given that they are the only characters that frequently interact with the two. Apparently Galaxy Girl isn't in on the while double agent thing so her dislike of Serena seems genuine. But with Hannah - she's ridiculously distant. Especially after the incident where Hannah got the drop on her, someone should have talked to her. They're giving these women kryptonian-level superpowers and then ignore any red flag and their training apparently doesn't involve any kind of pep talk. In story, there were all the preparations in the world to make sure that only the pure of heart got chosen,
And if Galaxy Girl is just a very very bad teacher - then why doesn't Hannah have anybody else to talk to? For Serena it makes sense to be kind of a loner, but for Hannah? She'd be the kind of person to have a bff that could ground Hannah in reality.

Another point would be the utter destruction of the 4th wall. I don't like it when sites and avatars are mentioned in story (unless it's a Christmas story) but the setup here is getting more problematic now:
Chapter 2:
In-universe audience: Didn't see anything from the girls - the efforts they put into training was all that could have possibly been shown.
Real audience: Saw even the thoughts of the characters, even though that at times was not all there was to it. Didn't stray far from what was known until then,

In-universe audience: Saw Hannah make some sexy pictures of herself to get out of her shell - and maybe they were shown the situation with Galaxy Girl Reality-TV style.
Real audience: Saw Hannah's frustration grow, her thoughts going into darker places and her even contemplating working with a supervillain to get what she needs.

So Hannah pulling ahead can only be interpreted as "Sex sells!" in story and could help in Hannah turning herself around and be the goody two-shoes again - with a bit sexier clothing. The actual audience might vote for her because they want a bad girl - just like they wanted it with Serena. So even though the same poll results are used, the characters cannot use the same interpretation for the results.



For power levels it might be a good idea to get rid of the 1:1 relation between votes and power. In some RPGs the price for stats increase the higher the stats are, Getting from 50 to 60 might cost 10 points, but getting from 100 to 110 might cost 20 ...
And probably there could be a factor to even out the number of votes in total - the number of votes may be higher due to the holiday season and will probably drop. Maybe some explanation that the machines can only deploy so much energy and the excess is stored for later use. Could become a plot point later.

Good points, all, Njae.

Given yours and the the reaction of a few others, I believe that I didn't do a good enough job of selling Hannah's development. I think I may use a dream sequence to help elaborate on Hannah's mindset. Also, she has been cut off from her friends, isolated in the Fairness Team compound for the duration of the power-up. I'll make that clearer in the next episode. It might have been good to give her a BFF at first, then strip her of them in episode 2, but alas, I didn't think to do it. I'm trying to set different things up but still react to the changing directions caused by the voting, but this style of reactive storytelling is new to me, and I've definitely missed some opportunities... all the more reason to do it again, even better, at some point, eh?

The obliteration of the 4th wall is entirely the point of this little tale, from my perspective. I can appreciate that you may not be a fan of it, but it is the underpinning of the very concept of the story. You're more than welcome to call it a flaw if you'd like, but it's how I want it.

The in-universe audience and real audience getting different insight is the nature of the beast. It wouldn't be as much fun to have no access to the thoughts and behind-the-scenes actions of the characters, would it? It would make the Hannah twist even more jarring and the Serena twist impossible without blowing her cover. You're completely correct that the real and in-story audience may be voting based on different information. I guess that I am willing to lose voting realism to gain entertainment value/fun in this particular respect.

Great points on the two veteran supers. I've probably underutilized them in the early part of the story. When this is all done, I may go back and make some improvements there... hopefully that's not too much of a mistake to hold people back from enjoying the rest of the story, however. I'm fairly certain that the bulk of the attention is on Hannah and Serena.

Good idea on the scaling of the power levels. I may incorporate that in the last couple of episodes, if you don't mind me stealing your great ideas!

Thank you for all of the wonderful feedback!