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SENsational
oogber wrote: I went and reread from the beginning. Love it! Really want to know where the story is headed and where the conflict will be
Thanks oogber! And thanks to Woodclaw, it's now a lot easier to start from the beginning and read all the way through to Part IV! As for the conflict, it's coming......trust me (us)!
ElF
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- lfan
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I like her asserting her independence/dominance over her father figure "Doc". Ignoring him and making him wait. Little power plays. And I'm not sure she even knew she was doing it.
I really like the flow and descriptions of her gymnastics demonstration. Very nice.
I like that she's still got a bit of her temper -- but she's learning to control it. She didn't immediately fly off the handle.
It seemed to be that she'd read/learned martial artist a bit too quickly -- but then -- that's sort of the point of these stories isn't it? It's the insult to the injury. She's already tough enough, strong enough and fast enough that even untrained versus a master martial artist she's still win. I mean I don't care if you are Bruce Lee, and you have an inhuman reaction time, if someone is 10x faster than that, you can't hit them. Some of Lee's caliber, might be able to adjust and plan, and fool the person into committing to something and the hit them.
But then, if she's already strong enough to bend steel, and not break her hand...likely the martial artist's best punch is simply going to annoy her (much as it did here). And then she's so strong that just a causal untrained hit is really all that is needed.
So it's just so sexy, so cool, that on top of this she's like, Oh, yeah, and I can FIGHT better, move better, and do everything better. And she's not trying very hard. Woo.
And I like that she did add insult to the injury by winning over the crowd.
I did like her using her main strength to finish the fight, but I did sort of want to her her actively, blocking blows effortlessly (not just moving out of the way), and then causally tagging him for awhile (tweaking his nose, tapping his cheek). You know, really irritating the crap out of him first. But it played pretty awesome as it was written.
You got the moment of how he tagged her just right. She's so able, that you have to plan that sort of thing like a chess move for him to get away with it (and I wonder if he'll be able to).
Also, I'd really like to see her cut loose now -- but I have a feeling that she wants to hold back so people don't know what she can really do...
Really want to see more of this!!
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- TwiceOnThursdays
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TwiceOnThursdays wrote: I like how this is progressing.
I like her asserting her independence/dominance over her father figure "Doc". Ignoring him and making him wait. Little power plays. And I'm not sure she even knew she was doing it.
I really like the flow and descriptions of her gymnastics demonstration. Very nice.
I like that she's still got a bit of her temper -- but she's learning to control it. She didn't immediately fly off the handle.
It seemed to be that she'd read/learned martial artist a bit too quickly -- but then -- that's sort of the point of these stories isn't it? It's the insult to the injury. She's already tough enough, strong enough and fast enough that even untrained versus a master martial artist she's still win. I mean I don't care if you are Bruce Lee, and you have an inhuman reaction time, if someone is 10x faster than that, you can't hit them. Some of Lee's caliber, might be able to adjust and plan, and fool the person into committing to something and the hit them.
But then, if she's already strong enough to bend steel, and not break her hand...likely the martial artist's best punch is simply going to annoy her (much as it did here). And then she's so strong that just a causal untrained hit is really all that is needed.
So it's just so sexy, so cool, that on top of this she's like, Oh, yeah, and I can FIGHT better, move better, and do everything better. And she's not trying very hard. Woo.
And I like that she did add insult to the injury by winning over the crowd.
I did like her using her main strength to finish the fight, but I did sort of want to her her actively, blocking blows effortlessly (not just moving out of the way), and then causally tagging him for awhile (tweaking his nose, tapping his cheek). You know, really irritating the crap out of him first. But it played pretty awesome as it was written.
You got the moment of how he tagged her just right. She's so able, that you have to plan that sort of thing like a chess move for him to get away with it (and I wonder if he'll be able to).
Also, I'd really like to see her cut loose now -- but I have a feeling that she wants to hold back so people don't know what she can really do...
Really want to see more of this!!
Thanks, ToT!
Agree with almost all of your comments/suggestions....truth be told, I had a version where she toyed with him and hit him but it seemed more demoralising to make him unable to catch her and become so exhausted with her not doing anything and doing cartwheels around him -- literally.
As far as cutting loose, that's coming somewhat soon.....right now everything can be characterised as the following:
2. Doc expected results but not ones like this! He is getting concerned not only of her new unforeseen power but also how she's enjoying it too much and not behaving like the Priya he knows
3. General is just elated over the possibilities of an army of Priyas. He doesn't really recognise or care about her acceptance of her situation, thinking they'll be able to control her
Something is going to have to give for someone.....
Thanks for the feedback!
ElF
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- lfan
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I can't wait.
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- TwiceOnThursdays
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- thewisewatcher
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Woodclaw wrote: Just a small heads-up for al of you: SENsational now has its own category in the Library and a cover picture is coming.
curious to hear if anything has come of this. Excited to see if anyone has been able to bring her to life
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- thewisewatcher
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thewisewatcher wrote:
Woodclaw wrote: Just a small heads-up for al of you: SENsational now has its own category in the Library and a cover picture is coming.
curious to hear if anything has come of this. Excited to see if anyone has been able to bring her to life
I think Woodclaw was referring to a work in progress poster that I was working on. Sadly, it's more "work in" than "progress" of late....
ElF
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- lfan
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Just kidding, we'll take what we get and be very happy.
Really want to see more of this and find out where the story is going. There is something to say about the build up, we get more invested in the character, and watching her and her powers bloom. And seeing how people around her take that.
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- TwiceOnThursdays
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TwiceOnThursdays wrote: we're greedy, I'm afraid we need that right now.
Just kidding, we'll take what we get and be very happy.
Really want to see more of this and find out where the story is going. There is something to say about the build up, we get more invested in the character, and watching her and her powers bloom. And seeing how people around her take that.
Made my day reading that one
Thanks Thursday
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- thewisewatcher
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lfan wrote:
thewisewatcher wrote:
Woodclaw wrote: Just a small heads-up for al of you: SENsational now has its own category in the Library and a cover picture is coming.
curious to hear if anything has come of this. Excited to see if anyone has been able to bring her to life
I think Woodclaw was referring to a work in progress poster that I was working on. Sadly, it's more "work in" than "progress" of late....
ElF
Hey ELF
This is something you mentioned before. I'm curious to see it either way, finished not
Let me know
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- thewisewatcher
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I specially loved the way Priya's self-confidence kept growing as she found out more and more of her amazing new abilities.
So naturally, I was wondering if there is any tiny chance to see the rest of the story one day ? Maybe before the year 2025 ?
Even if it's in 2025 I will still be happy.
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