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Fall of Superior Girl
14 Jan 2017 13:26 #52062
by Woodclaw
This is a pretty good model Willow and if I have to single out just one series among AK's production to save it would be Superior Girl, but I have to repeat my question from befor ethe crash: did you secured AK's permission to repost his story here?
Personally, I would have reseeded the original Superior Girl a long time ago, but I've never been able to contact AK directly and ask him permission to do so. If you got the permission to repost and, eventually edit, it I would be exstatic
to see it back (picture included eventually), otherwise we might be moving into a slightly dangerous territory.
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Fall of Superior Girl
willow wrote: I have re-uploaded the first chapter for the Fall of Superior Girl story to the site, and merged it with the Prologue chapter since both were a bit short. I have also uploaded Chapter 2 of the story onto the site for your reading pleasure. Both are currently pending admin approval.
While I was writing my tale, I considered the idea of re-working the original Superior Girl story during the time that I was doing research for my own tale. There are a couple of side plots that don't really go anywhere or don't make too much sense. I have thought about the idea of cleaning out some of those to make everything flow a little tighter. If you put the Superior Girl story into Microsoft Word and remove the image links, the story comes out to about 500 pages with over 279,720 written words. I think the story would work really well if split into three separate "books." This would also allow each book to have its own theme and give a good arc.
The Superior Girl Trilogy
Rise of Superior Girl - Superior Girl getting and discovering her powers up to just after the abduction of Caroline Hunter. This would encompass chapters 1 to around 20 of the original Superior Girl story. A good break would need to be found or possibly written. Theme: origin, discovery, rise to power.
Reign of Superior Girl - Superior Girl continues to work for Lex Luthor, and begins recruiting her Ambrosia Amazons. Superman is thoroughly defeated and struggles to find a way to stop Superior Girl. This would encompass (around) chapters 17 to 37 of the original Superior Girl story. Again, a chapter or two may need re-writing or creation to help more easily bridge the gap. Theme: triumph, domination.
Fall of Superior Girl - Where my own story picks up while Superior Girl effectively reigns triumphant.
This is a pretty good model Willow and if I have to single out just one series among AK's production to save it would be Superior Girl, but I have to repeat my question from befor ethe crash: did you secured AK's permission to repost his story here?
Personally, I would have reseeded the original Superior Girl a long time ago, but I've never been able to contact AK directly and ask him permission to do so. If you got the permission to repost and, eventually edit, it I would be exstatic
to see it back (picture included eventually), otherwise we might be moving into a slightly dangerous territory. Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.
27 Jan 2017 14:52 - 27 Jan 2017 14:54 #52295
by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Fall of Superior Girl
With this new chapter also comes
new shelf for this story
in the Library.
Also I moved to thread to the comment section, since this is most likely going to become the main thread fro the story.
PS: Willow, I put some placeholder text for the story in the series library, if you have any specific one in mind please PM me it and I'll get it in place
Also I moved to thread to the comment section, since this is most likely going to become the main thread fro the story.
PS: Willow, I put some placeholder text for the story in the series library, if you have any specific one in mind please PM me it and I'll get it in place
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11 Feb 2017 17:22 #52478
by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Fall of Superior Girl
I've finally got myself up to speed with this series and so far I like a lot of what I read and disliked some bits.
One weird bit that I noticed is that by making Michelle blonde she's really going to stick out like a sore thumb most of the time, given that AK depicted her as African-american (or at least the pictures he used for her were all of African-american women).
In and of itself the story works pretty damn good, it has a lot of good bits, especially in the very vivid descriptions of physicality. The idea of the data vault was pretty good, but in a way shows how much time has passed since AK first introduced us to Superior Girl, a decade ago the idea of data vault wasn't something that was part of the mainstream culture enough to allow an audience to understand it. The action scene at the vault is pretty good although I really cringed at the fact that Michelle was more or less saved by her powers alone and it's very likely that when she's going to do her big reveal someone is going to connect the dots and compare her mugshot to the security footage (facial recognition ... you just have to deal with it
).
The one thing that off put me though is how casual Michelle's attitude toward sex has been so far, especially considered that she's in a commited relationship. I totally understand that her romp with Superman was fuelled by a combination of arousal for her and sexual frustration for him, but seducing the kid in Dubai was pretty much uncalled for and in some way I fear that Mike might become a distant thought sooner rather than later. Still this might be an interesting scenario to see developed and might lead to some unholy alliances.
One weird bit that I noticed is that by making Michelle blonde she's really going to stick out like a sore thumb most of the time, given that AK depicted her as African-american (or at least the pictures he used for her were all of African-american women).
In and of itself the story works pretty damn good, it has a lot of good bits, especially in the very vivid descriptions of physicality. The idea of the data vault was pretty good, but in a way shows how much time has passed since AK first introduced us to Superior Girl, a decade ago the idea of data vault wasn't something that was part of the mainstream culture enough to allow an audience to understand it. The action scene at the vault is pretty good although I really cringed at the fact that Michelle was more or less saved by her powers alone and it's very likely that when she's going to do her big reveal someone is going to connect the dots and compare her mugshot to the security footage (facial recognition ... you just have to deal with it
).The one thing that off put me though is how casual Michelle's attitude toward sex has been so far, especially considered that she's in a commited relationship. I totally understand that her romp with Superman was fuelled by a combination of arousal for her and sexual frustration for him, but seducing the kid in Dubai was pretty much uncalled for and in some way I fear that Mike might become a distant thought sooner rather than later. Still this might be an interesting scenario to see developed and might lead to some unholy alliances.
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19 Feb 2017 13:27 #52642
by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic Fall of Superior Girl
Sorry I've been slow to comment. A bit preoccupied with settling in to my new nest 
. I just now finally got a chance to read part 4. That is officially tons o' fun. Good mixture of scenery and action. I could almost hear the 'heist music' playing in my head and there were a few sexy sequences I wish I'd written myself . Undoubtedly the sort of physical interplay that'll stick with me and shape my own future efforts. Thank you for sharing them. Definitely looking forward to curling up with part 5!
Do you use Google docs at all? There's a few typos and suggestions I'd offer for word choice/sentence structure. If you do, I've be happy to do a quick pass and annotate the document for your consideration.
. I just now finally got a chance to read part 4. That is officially tons o' fun. Good mixture of scenery and action. I could almost hear the 'heist music' playing in my head and there were a few sexy sequences I wish I'd written myself . Undoubtedly the sort of physical interplay that'll stick with me and shape my own future efforts. Thank you for sharing them. Definitely looking forward to curling up with part 5!Do you use Google docs at all? There's a few typos and suggestions I'd offer for word choice/sentence structure. If you do, I've be happy to do a quick pass and annotate the document for your consideration.
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02 Mar 2017 19:13 #52918
by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic Fall of Superior Girl
Been a bit occupied outside the site, but just got a chance to read part 5. I'm a big fan of heist movies and felt this was a pretty good super-powered alternative to the usual formulas. The interaction with Olsen was both effective and respectful of the source material.
I'm having a great time and looking forward to catching up.
I'm having a great time and looking forward to catching up
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