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Tanning for Superhumans

Written by Wizalex :: [Thursday, 28 April 2022 23:13] Last updated by :: [Friday, 29 April 2022 18:55]

"Can you believe how pale she is? If I had that much trouble getting a tan during spring break, I think I might just drown myself in the ocean."

Jade tried to ignore Olivia's comments, she really did. But this was the third time in the last hour that her roommate and supposed best friend had decided to strike up a flirtatious chat with a stranger by belittling her. It was really starting to get on her nerves.

Jade had spent 21 years of her life being perfectly happy with her body. But being in proximity to Olivia was enough to make anyone question their looks. Jade closed her eyes for a moment, visualising the two of them side by side, a sight that probably featured at the start of a large portion of the fantasies of the casual observer. Admittedly both were stunning, just in their own unique ways. Olivia looked like a golden-skinned Amazonian fitness model, plucked out of the pages of a sports magazine or the wet dreams of a high school jock. Jade liked to describe herself more along the lines of a real-life anime girl, all pale curves and cuteness, a veritable walking orgasm for the nerds who ogled her from behind thick lensed glasses and imminent nose bleeds.

Sure, she was on the short side - she had only just made it past 5' at the end of her last growth spurt, but she thought it enhanced her other adorable qualities. Her wide green eyes could make a doe jealous and the silky red hair that ran down to her upper back was luxurious and eye-catching. Even though she hadn't been able to cut it for years, there were no frayed ends to be seen. Olivia on the other hand easily surpassed 6’ and required that any potential romantic partners exceeded her impressive height. Her platinum blonde hair often trailed far down her back, resting just above her incredibly pert posterior. It was smaller than Jade's own significantly rounder behind, but the guys did seem to love Olivia's bubble butt. This latest beefcake that had caught Olivia's attention certainly seemed to be focusing on it with rapt attention. He ticked all of Olivia's boxes - tall, muscled and with a vacant look in his eyes that practically screamed out that Olivia was going to use him however she wanted.

Which led Jade back to considering her own physique. Or lack of it, really. Her body was soft and curvy, with no hint of muscle, especially when placed next to Olivia. Then again, compared to Olivia an Olympic swimmer would look out of shape. Her arms slender, but lined with firm, feminine muscle. Her toned stomach and abs were basically always on display. And the legs. Her legs were a wonder, the elegant pins providing both a large portion of her height and a very strong foundation to support the rest of her athletic body. Having checked multiple times before, Jade knew that the tops of Olivia’s legs reached to the base of Jade's boobs, though that may be saying more about Jade than Olivia.

Some may have said that Jade’s boobs were too big, especially compared to her short frame. Jade personally thought they looked enormous and loved it. She knew they were one of the few things on which she definitely had Olivia beat. While Olivia proudly boasted G cups that took her out of the running for actually being an Olympic athlete, a single one of Jade's M cup boobs was bigger than both of Olivia's beauties combined. Jade happened to know that a lot of her own admirers preferred her curvier body, but it did dismay her sometimes that she would never be able to have Olivia’s musculature. There was just no way she would ever be able to develop any notable muscle definition, due to the most significant difference between the two girls. Jade was a far more powerful superhuman.

This was the other reason why Jade was jealous of Olivia and the reason why Jade had never had a proper boyfriend. She had become far too cautious about the effect her impervious body had on the fragile guys she decided to hook up with. For feck’s sake, she had to spend her entire life floating half a millimetre above the surface of the Earth so that she didn't accidentally destroy the planet's crust. Again.

Jade remembered the day she got her powers very well. She woke up, stretched, yawned, and destroyed the entirety of the city of Dublin with her simple exhalation, very much not as normal. The news barely reported the next day on the freak hurricane though. They were far more focused on the completely unpredicted natural disaster that was the following record-breaking earthquake. Many claimed that some tectonic fault was to blame. Very few could come up with a better reason as to why Ireland sank through an enormous crack in the crust of the Earth.

Certainly no one suggested that a clumsy and incredibly busty girl had almost destroyed the world, simply by tripping onto her enormous tits when she fell over. Resistance simply didn’t exist to Jade anymore. Passing through solid rock was easier than walking through air. Her body, led by her massive breasts, had ploughed through dozens of kilometres of the Earth’s crust before she realised she didn’t need to obey the Earth’s gravity. She stopped herself falling, but not before the United Kingdom had also fallen into the sundered Earth.

With nowhere left to call home, she'd flown to America for a new start, vowing to be a lot more cautious - killing somewhere around 70 million people put things into perspective. No touching the Earth, no touching other people, no breathing - she didn't need to do that anymore.

This of course meant that Jade had no way to exercise and build up any muscles. The last time she lifted something heavy was when she accidentally used her hand to open the door of an apartment building. The walls had collapsed around her as she removed all structural integrity. The casualties could have merely remained in the hundreds, had she not tried to hastily correct her mistake. Turning too quickly, her calamitous right breast collided with her disastrous left tit with force greater than could be produced by any device on the planet. The resulting shockwave had torn across the Western Coast and sent out tsunamis that eventually drowned the Hawaiian Islands.

She'd relocated to Florida after that and ignored her 'no boyfriends' rule at a sorority party. Having her eyes closed at the time, she hadn't noticed that their lips were already touching. In fact, she didn't notice until his broken remains had spilled out from the other side of a wall, having been crushed between it and Jade's unyielding tits. When the couple in the next bedroom started screaming, Jade's exasperated sigh spread the residue across the couple, tearing apart the guy but amazingly leaving the girl merely coated in viscera. That was the day Jade met Olivia, who luckily also had powers, albeit much more minor. Well, relative to Jade. Olivia was in peak human condition and was entirely resistant to harm but possessed none of the absurd levels of strength that Jade did. After a bit of consideration, the two agreed to room with each other.

"Here Jade, you need to try this stuff. Stefan says that his family brews it themselves."

Jade was taken back to the present by both Olivia's words and the pungent alcoholic fumes being wafted in front of her.

"You know I don't drink Olivia, it's not responsible."

"Come on girl. One drink won't be the end of the world."

Begrudgingly, Jade accepted the bottle. She had no idea what was in it, other than something alcoholic, but she might as well go along with it. One less thing for Olivia to mock her about.


Jade woke up feeling weird. Her body was buzzing. It hadn't done that before. Had she tried alcohol before? She couldn't remember.

Wow, it felt good though. She wanted more of this.

"Hey, can you believe how pale this girl is? She came from the UK, you know, before all that stuff happened?"

Feck it, thought Jade, I'm done with this. I'm getting a tan.

Looking up at the sky, Jade stared into the Sun.

I need more rays. There's too much atmosphere blocking it. I think I can fix that though.

For the first time in about a year, Jade began to inhale. The winds that swept across the beach as a result sent people flying. Holiday goers went careening into the air, at the mercy of the swiftly forming vortex centred around Jade's lips. Olivia screamed as she was sucked in, crashing straight through the far more fragile Stefan and obliterating his body with her own more durable form.

Well, that's another of Olivia's toys I've broken. Oops.

When Jade judged she had collected sufficient air and hundreds of people were being carelessly tossed around by her breath in various states of injury, she began to exhale. Olivia's screams were drowned out, but her ire was evident to Jade as she went flying through the atmosphere. She'd fetch her back later, maybe spending some time in space would make her think about her actions.

Distortions appeared in the sky as the light from the Sun was scattered and refracted in different directions and the atmosphere above Florida was stripped away from the planet, along with hundreds of utterly helpless victims.


Jade did not tan. When she next woke up, the entire place was a wasteland with no living creatures until the next state. Jade's removal of the atmosphere around her had taken out more than she may have expected and the world was beginning to suffocate and burn without its protective layer.

I can't believe it. Even with all these rays. Maybe I just need to get closer.

Splaying her indestructible fingers, Jade very carefully inserted her hands into the Earth and reversed her motion. Looking over her shoulder, she lined up the position of the Sun, then began to pull.

Slowly and gradually, the oxygen starved residents of the Earth noticed something. It was getting hotter. The Sun loomed closer and closer in the sky, as Jade's inexorable motion took the entire planet closer and closer to their burgeoning doom. Forest fires broke out across the continent, icebergs melted at an alarming pace, but the seas were evaporating just as fast as they were rising.

Finally, Jade stopped pulling the Earth towards the Sun, laid back down and waited for a tan.


The next time Jade woke up, the sand was glass beneath her and the Earth was falling into the Sun.

Oh right, I moved it closer, but didn't speed it up. Feck.

But even more concerning, Jade still had no tan. She felt like screaming. Then she did.

The Earth shattered from the sonic monstrosity that emanated from her mouth. The already combusting Earth ignited in further places, chunks of landmasses breaking off and spiralling into their doom. Mortal remains left behind were disintegrated to atoms and swept away as less than dust. Humanity was fully erased from the Universe as a light brighter than a thousand Suns began shining from Jade's eyes. It tore through the fractured Earth, leaving devasting holes in all matter before her. Except her own skin. On her skin, it left a beautiful golden colour.

Jade looked on in amazement, as her laser eyes proceeded to grace her with a far more glorious tan than Olivia could ever achieve. She spun on her heel, giving the remains of the Earth one last kick into the Sun for good measure. Flying away from the annihilated planet and the 7 billion people she had killed, Jade headed back to the one person she knew she couldn't harm.

"Just wait until Olivia sees this."

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Love that exaggerated levels of power.
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