kshoo's Undead series

07 May 2022 22:59 #74084 by AUphoric
kshoo's Undead series was created by AUphoric
kshoo, I read the whole series, from the Birth- Prologue series, to the Being Undead series, to the Staying Alive series.

Which reminds me, my CPR class told us to think of the Bee Gees song with John Travolta dancin', to sustain a 100bpm pace for heart pumps. "Music loud and women warm, I've been kicked around since I was born" fits Mandi Olson, doesn't it?

I was very skeptical, I thought vampires and Kryptonians didn't belong in the same story. But you won me over. Clever expansion on a premise it looks like Shadar tried once and discarded.

I like the creative story line. I like the variety of super powered characters and non powered but very clever, persistent characters. I like the contrast of Batman's "flexible morality playboy" style vs. Superman's desire to avoid cheating. Much to my suprise, inner conflict Vampiric Kara works. Super-Lex definitely a menace to everyone. I like the blend of some vampire mythology, but a lot of it subverted, along with Kryptonian sci-fi.

Most of the writing flows with good pacing, good descriptions, good dialogue.

Lots of erotic details of super-sex, I think really the whole series is NSFW. That doesn't bother me, but sometimes I skimmed a bit when the sex scenes kept going and going and going.

Two points confused me.
I'm not a fan of horror that much, and I don't understand at all who was behind or what was going on with the college scene of people burned to ashes in a fire that magicallly couldn't be touched by water. I don't get that part at all.
I also don't get whether Mandi and Super-Lex were seen by everyone flying around, or do both try to keep those powers secret for now.

Most of the English works. Sometimes, I hit some bumps where the tangle in English was confusing. Taken out of the story, I had to stop, read the paragraph again a few times to try to figure out what it meant, then continue. I think it would help if you could work with an editor. Most of these issues are things that would be easy to fix for someone who grew up with English.

The story is fun. It's a very different twist on what Superman & Supergirl are all about, and what vampires are all about, and what Aureans and Velorians are all about. I'm eager to read more and find out what else happens! I hope Kara gets somehow returned to normal, for her own good. And Lex too, for everyone else's good!
The following user(s) said Thank You: kshoo

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08 May 2022 03:20 #74085 by kshoo
Replied by kshoo on topic kshoo's Undead series
Thanks for the kind words. I do admit that being a person with ESL (english as a second-language), writing so many chapters in that language is challenging. Hence I do get it when not many will reply or drop me a line about my writings in general. I do try to go back, re-read and restructure the words and constructions in a better way, but time is always a premium. However, this is also a shoutout to the SWM community, especially Shadar, Woodclaw and anaheim who has supported and helped me throughout when I started out my path here.
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