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Continuing one of my stories (Gotcha!)
The last thing I wrote was "21st Century Magic: Gotcha!", my submission to workshop 1.12 around 16 months ago. I remember when I wrote it that it was a slow building story, and I really wanted to get some good "action shots" in before submitting it to the workshop, so I ended up rushing on the last couple of chapters just to reach a certain point in the story before sharing it with the rest of you.
Now that I've finally gone back and re-read what I wrote, I'm pretty happy with most of it, though a couple of the later chapters need some minor edits. But the last chapter I wrote (chapter 9) is just complete crap. Apparently, I took two major confrontations that each deserved their own chapter and merged them into a fairly short chapter, which didn't give either confrontation the detail it deserved. I can tell I rushed through writing that, and it would have been much better if I'd spent more time on that.
So I want to scrap that chapter and re-write it, then continue with the rest of the story. I actually had jotted down some notes for a lot of other stuff that I want to add to the story, with a definite direction for how I want it all to eventually end.
But since I shared what I had back then, I was hoping some of you who read it might be willing to offer your opinions on a couple of things.
First, since the villainess's main power in the story is telekinesis, without super strength or invulnerability, do the rest of you even want me to continue this story? Or do you not like it enough for me to bother? I was pleasantly surprised to get 6 first place votes in that workshop and some very positive feedback, so I'll probably keep going with it, especially since I enjoyed it. But it would be nice to know what the rest of you think.
Second, I originally included a prelude with some action just to get the attention of the readers up front, since it actually takes 5 chapters of the story to get to any real action, and I didn't want anyone giving up on the story out of boredom before they got that far. Was that a good idea, or should I cut that?
Third, do you want to see more gratuitous acts of cruelty from our main character (like chapters 4 and 8), or should I stick to the main plot and only write chapters that will advance the storylines involving the main antagonists?
Of course, most of you probably don't remember the details of my story, but it would be nice if one or two people could pipe in with their opinions. Thanks.
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- YAGS
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That smiley was supposed to be the number 8 followed by )Third, do you want to see more gratuitous acts of cruelty from our main character (like chapters 4 and 8), or should I stick to the main plot and only write chapters that will advance the storylines involving the main antagonists?
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- YAGS
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I'll come back with a more detailed post when I've reread it, but for now, I can just offer some opinions.
1. Just because she isn't super strong or invulnerable doesn't mean she isn't superpowered Yes, please continue!
2. It wasn't boring.
I can't give any more specifics than that for now, but I'm sure no one will complain, no matter what direction you take the story. It's your story, after all!
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- oldHarmonyMotion
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That said, I'm part of the audience for this particular story, as I said back then.
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- yaracyrrah
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- YAGS
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Add me to the list that liked Lacey and the story....I'd encourage you to continue the tale if that will help
ElF
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- lfan
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- ace191
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Don't be worried about moving the plot moving too slowly, I thought everything was well written, and it was fun to read!
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- oldHarmonyMotion
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As I said, I really want to scrap chapter 9 and redo it from scratch. That was VERY rushed, and it didn't turn out so good. And besides, I think I'd like to build the tension with Vicky a bit more, and reveal more about her character, before Lacey and Vicky become enemies that way.
I may also re-work chapter 8 just a bit. There's a couple of bits in there that just don't feel right to me. Again, I wrote it too quickly and didn't proofread and edit much, because of the workshop deadline.
But I think I'll leave chapters 1-7 alone. Hopefully, it won't take long to get some new material added and have something new to share. I'm a pretty slow writer, so you may be waiting a couple of weeks.
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- YAGS
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Telekenisis rocks! Almost better than superpowers like flying and superstrength. Keep on writing about her please.
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- Sarge395
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I will get back to "Gotcha!", but it may be a few weeks before I do, then a few more weeks before I have enough new material to share. So I'll say there's a good chance I'll post the 2nd edition of this story, with some new chapters, before the end of the year, but I won't guarantee it.
Sorry if I got anyone's hopes up too much with this thread.
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- YAGS
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- Caylane
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And sorry Nicochara, but Lacey won't be flying. I'll let the character explain why not herself, from a conversation I just finished writing that takes place between her and one of her girlfriends, right after she throws around a guy for fun:
“Can you make me fly, too?”
“No”, Lacey responded instantly.
“Why not?”
“Because you’re not a lesbo.”
“Huh?”
“I told you before”, Lacey looked at her, exasperated. “I can only control people who are attracted to me… for now.”
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- YAGS
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[/quote]
And sorry Nicochara, but Lacey won't be flying. I'll let the character explain why not herself, from a conversation I just finished writing that takes place between her and one of her girlfriends, right after she throws around a guy for fun:
Heh, thats fine. Cant wait to see it though
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- Caylane
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I think this means I need to ditch one episode I was planning on including later, and substitute a completely different one instead, which may come much earlier.
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- YAGS
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- Continuing one of my stories (Gotcha!)