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Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread

17 Feb 2013 16:59 #30451 by fats
here is the offical place for you comment or discuss the latest workshop.

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17 Feb 2013 19:23 #30456 by SHTL
Replied by SHTL on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
thanks a lot to the authors, I red all the stories and will vote soon :=)

Super human teen girl, super strong and unbreakable, with very bad attitude :)

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17 Feb 2013 21:22 #30459 by Caylane
Replied by Caylane on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
Just a quick question. Wasn't Cos-Play written on the forums? I haven't read it fully yet, only about 1/3rd but it all seems vaguely familiar so far.

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17 Feb 2013 21:27 #30460 by Dr. Muttonchops
Replied by Dr. Muttonchops on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
I feel the same way aboout Chapter One of Baker's Dozen. I could be mistaken, of course.

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17 Feb 2013 21:27 #30461 by pansardum
Replied by pansardum on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread

Caylane wrote: Just a quick question. Wasn't Cos-Play written on the forums? I haven't read it fully yet, only about 1/3rd but it all seems vaguely familiar so far.


You seem to have missed Anon's note at the top :pinch:

Author's Note: this story was originally submitted to our forum in the New Authors section. I've had a plan to revise and improve it for a long time and I took the chance of this workshop to do it. While I'll keep the old version online, this one has to be considered the definitive version.

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17 Feb 2013 22:08 #30463 by Caylane
Replied by Caylane on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
Oh, sorry about my laziness then! ><

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17 Feb 2013 22:20 #30464 by SHTL
Replied by SHTL on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
hope to can become myself a new author soon, next workshop or not...donno if i will have time and motivation and my english is not from Oxford..:( btw...

Super human teen girl, super strong and unbreakable, with very bad attitude :)

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18 Feb 2013 04:28 #30466 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
I started with Shadar's story ("Heart of the Fantasy"). Well done! Kristi is a very appealing character and the range of emotions she goes through is convincingly portrayed.

I don't know if the cos-player in the picture inspired the character, but she fits Kristi to a T. (Do you happen to have any other pictures of her that you could post?)

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18 Feb 2013 04:37 #30467 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread

drmuttonchops3 wrote: I feel the same way aboout Chapter One of Baker's Dozen. I could be mistaken, of course.


Nope -- no part of "Baker's Dozen" has appeared anywhere before today. But I think Chapter 1 was influenced by the opening of The Phantom Tollbooth, by Norton Juster -- still one of my all-time favorite books. Maybe that's why it seemed familiar?

And thanks for the props you gave my story. Glad you enjoyed it!

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18 Feb 2013 04:57 #30468 by Dr. Muttonchops
Replied by Dr. Muttonchops on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
OK, Thanks for letting me know. I've never read the book, so I wouldn't know. I've only seen bits and pieces of the Chuck Jones film adaptation.

You're very welcome, buddy! Anytime! I wouldn't be surprised if there was a reference to your handle in my upcoming story..

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18 Feb 2013 13:54 #30471 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
The photo did indeed inspire the story... I was thumbing through picts, thinking of what kind of gift one could receive, and thinking about the idea of fate, which was on my mind for other reasons, and I came across her pict and suddenly the entire story was right there. I just had to write it down.

It's absolutely amazing what a great image can do for my imagination. Such stories almost write themselves.

Sorry I don't have any more images of her... don't even remember where I came across. But I consider her the best cosplay portrayal of that period of Supgergirl's history that I've ever seen.

Shadar

argonaut wrote: I started with Shadar's story ("Heart of the Fantasy"). Well done! Kristi is a very appealing character and the range of emotions she goes through is convincingly portrayed.

I don't know if the cos-player in the picture inspired the character, but she fits Kristi to a T. (Do you happen to have any other pictures of her that you could post?)

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18 Feb 2013 16:16 - 18 Feb 2013 16:16 #30472 by pansardum
Replied by pansardum on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread

shadar wrote: The photo did indeed inspire the story... I was thumbing through picts, thinking of what kind of gift one could receive, and thinking about the idea of fate, which was on my mind for other reasons, and I came across her pict and suddenly the entire story was right there. I just had to write it down.

It's absolutely amazing what a great image can do for my imagination. Such stories almost write themselves.

Sorry I don't have any more images of her... don't even remember where I came across. But I consider her the best cosplay portrayal of that period of Supgergirl's history that I've ever seen.

Shadar

argonaut wrote: I started with Shadar's story ("Heart of the Fantasy"). Well done! Kristi is a very appealing character and the range of emotions she goes through is convincingly portrayed.

I don't know if the cos-player in the picture inspired the character, but she fits Kristi to a T. (Do you happen to have any other pictures of her that you could post?)


This seems to be her deviantart page http://twinklebatcosplay.deviantart.com/
Last edit: 18 Feb 2013 16:16 by pansardum.
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18 Feb 2013 18:59 #30474 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
Just read Baker's Dozen by Argonaut. Its a classic yet strangely innovative approach to the concept of enhancement, and is particularly neat because its core theme is a retcon of reality with each wish. That could get very complicated pretty fast. The universe doesn't like it when entropy is reversed along with causality. Changing the past can catch up to you pretty quickly.

Even more, it seems like the card is developing its own will. He didn't wish the librarian super, except perhaps in some unconscious way.

I see this plot getting wild and out of control down the road... and in a very good way.

Very nice start and good characterization, although the encounter with the two bullies was a bit cliche. But it all works and I'd love to read more.

Shadar
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18 Feb 2013 19:28 #30475 by Dr. Muttonchops
Replied by Dr. Muttonchops on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread

shadar wrote: Its a classic yet strangely innovative approach to the concept of enhancement, and is particularly neat because its core theme is a retcon of reality with each wish. That could get very complicated pretty fast.


I know, I also liked that concept! Who knows what will happen next?

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18 Feb 2013 23:45 #30478 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
Moving on (in no particular order), I read "Spare Parts" next.

The story has many good points, and I'm not surprised it's a front-runner in the poll. It's a well-crafted tale with smooth prose (always a plus for me) and a clever and original plot device. (Original for our "genre," anyway.)

But the basic premise troubled me and left a bad aftertaste: I mean the violation of Amanda's personality as she changes from someone who condemns violence and the objectification of women to someone who relishes her voluptuous new body and exacts a sadistic (though arguably deserved) vengeance on her rapist. Was this the work of the "personality overlay"? It wasn't clear (to me, at least) whether the overlay failed or whether it happened so smoothly that Amanda wasn't aware of it.

Despite my reservations, I did enjoy the story, but it won't be getting my vote.

P.S. At first I thought the list of templates for the spare body was just too preposterous, but on second thought I figured that was because it had been drawn up by aliens, according to criteria that we'd find hard to comprehend.

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20 Feb 2013 19:43 #30486 by Random321
Replied by Random321 on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
Twice The Fun: I loved the "shirt seams screaming in protest" description - well done. I also liked the entire frying pan use. So much in fact I'd love to lift that in the future for a video if okay. :) I'm not always a "growth" story fan but I liked this - even the black yoga pants - which I do seem to be seeing everywhere.

Cos-Play: I loved the practicing signature poses it the mirror. I can totally see some fans doing just that and it sold the character for me. I also liked the swimmer legs description - it was spot on. I also liked the IM chat back and forth - that was a good concept for a story. Why the black SG costume?

Heart of Fantasy: I love stories that really explore what would happen to the "real" world if a super hero really suddenly appeared. I also liked the "true" heart concept. I think you would be lucky to find one. Nuclear disarmament is an interesting idea - SM4 kind of blew its chance to be "deep" with the idea. I'm not sure how I'd feel about a "stranger" disarming my nation. I'm not sure how governments/populations would react. It makes for great story options. Lots of responsibility for a 16 year old with a junker VW. I liked the "like scrolling in Google earth" commentary.

Healers:
The alien death and power transfer paragraph was very well written - I liked it. I also liked the idea of a fast healer seeing damage from a bullet in the first layer of skin and feeling the pain but it healing - great idea. I also loved the line "Someone who can help" when asked "who are you" that sums up heroes to me.

Spare Parts: The idea of re-inflating the truck cab with superbreath is perhaps the best use - or most creative use I've ever read. Well done! Vindictive toying with him like that. Wow.

Cindy's Transformation: In typical style I love your writing and the story is fun to read. I liked the stumbling - "looking at chest er "S" er..." I'm looking forward to the other 10 girls and what you might do with the librarian character. The transformation with the skirt and shirt changing for the first girl was also a great part.

Well done all - I'll have to re-read before I decide who to vote for. Not easy this time.

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20 Feb 2013 20:48 - 20 Feb 2013 22:42 #30487 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
First of all thanks for the comments Random. I'm still working on my feedback.

Random321 wrote: Cos-Play: I loved the practicing signature poses it the mirror. I can totally see some fans doing just that and it sold the character for me. I also liked the swimmer legs description - it was spot on. I also liked the IM chat back and forth - that was a good concept for a story. Why the black SG costume?


To answer your question, the reason for the balck SG costume is twofold. First, I like the black and silver combination, I think it's very sleek and distinct appearence; second, I think that a "nerd virgin", like Sharon, would prefer black over primary colors, especially if looking for something sexy.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

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Last edit: 20 Feb 2013 22:42 by Woodclaw.

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20 Feb 2013 22:34 #30488 by pansardum
Replied by pansardum on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread

Random321 wrote: Twice The Fun: I loved the "shirt seams screaming in protest" description - well done. I also liked the entire frying pan use. So much in fact I'd love to lift that in the future for a video if okay. :) I'm not always a "growth" story fan but I liked this - even the black yoga pants - which I do seem to be seeing everywhere.


Nice to hear that you liked it, despite the "growth". :)
I realized as I wrote that growth isn't that big part of this site, but it was a story I had in my mind from before and decided to take the chance this workshop gave.
Regarding the yoga pants, their stretch might make them the only thing in her wardrobe that fitted :whistle:

Really glad that you liked the frying pan display, even so much that you consider using it in a video. Of course you get my permission... you know, if you send me a copy :p

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21 Feb 2013 03:00 #30490 by shadar
Replied by shadar on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
Sounds like I need to write a sequel... if for no other reason that she needs to get her deceased VW back to Kansas.

The issue of saving the world by ridding every country of their nukes will be fun to write. Even my own country. But the fallout is going to be extreme. Superman never did that in the comics, nor did any other character. The topic was off-limits for the Superman franchise.

I'm assuming her family has lived with a missile silo on their farm for decades. Its been deactivated of late, but it'll be interesting to hear what her parents and extended family think of disarming their country's nukes.

I suppose I should have her announce her intention at the Comicon and then the plot will focus on the panic that ensues on the part of the government and military. They'll bring out the big guns and try to stop her, and she's hardly experienced in the art of fighting. But... she's got all of Supergirl's powers (I'll try to stay with a 70's interpretation of those, which included some glitches), so they are going to have a lot of trouble slowing her down. Assuming they even can.

Her big problem is that people will quickly learn about her family (she registered with her real name at the Comicon), and she'll have to protect them. Who knows how far the military and government will go to protect their precious nukes.

Shadar

Random321 wrote:
Heart of Fantasy: I love stories that really explore what would happen to the "real" world if a super hero really suddenly appeared. I also liked the "true" heart concept. I think you would be lucky to find one. Nuclear disarmament is an interesting idea - SM4 kind of blew its chance to be "deep" with the idea. I'm not sure how I'd feel about a "stranger" disarming my nation. I'm not sure how governments/populations would react. It makes for great story options. Lots of responsibility for a 16 year old with a junker VW. I liked the "like scrolling in Google earth" commentary.

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21 Feb 2013 04:20 #30491 by argonaut
Replied by argonaut on topic Fall 2012 workshop dissussion thread
"Cos-Play" -- a sweet story and, like all the other entries I've read so far, well crafted and well written. I did feel as if many of the scenes ran along familiar lines (e.g. supergirl confronts mugger/rapist/lowlife) -- but that's what we go for here at SWM. I particularly liked the "girls' night out" scene, and wish you'd presented it at greater length and in more detail. Thanks for an enjoyable story.

I'll try to post feedback on the last two stories by the end of the week.

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