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The honking of geese (a notebook)

13 Jul 2016 03:41 - 13 Jul 2016 22:16 #49097 by Sarge395
Replied by Sarge395 on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
I think this is going into a top 10 story for me now. WoW!

When can we expect the finished full version to hit the library?
Last edit: 13 Jul 2016 22:16 by Sarge395. Reason: Added library comment
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10 Aug 2016 16:27 - 12 Aug 2016 06:19 #49534 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Thanks for the kind words all :).

Ulterior Motives is not forgotten! Circe's Cup kindly delivered a much needed Gib-smack to the back of my noggin in the form of simply asking me what was wrong - and trying to answer the question shook more loose than weeks of staring at the story directly. While I'm not returning to it immediately, I understand where the snag occurred - despite the order I've posted pieces in, there will be a section added that precedes rather than follows the last installment. Doing that sequence as a recounting of events instead of letting the readers live through those events directly was dumb, and made me choke up every time I tried to script it that way.

Sorry for the mental gymnastics for the readers, but that's the price of seeing text before it's what I'd consider "Library Ready". Hopefully the look inside another writer's process is of value in it's own right :).

In the interim, the muse has been teasing me something fierce with two stories with very different Origins and themes. I'm trying to write out what I think will be the shorter one quickly before I lose my grasp on either thread.
The Last Bouquet (part 1)
by Au Goose


Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
Last edit: 12 Aug 2016 06:19 by AuGoose.
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11 Aug 2016 11:51 - 14 Aug 2016 23:15 #49544 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Just puttering along trying to clear my plate :).
The Last Bouquet (part 2)
by Au Goose

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Last edit: 14 Aug 2016 23:15 by AuGoose.
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11 Aug 2016 14:21 #49545 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
I'm intrigued by your new approach to story development -- rough draft here and final one in the library. I might try that someday. If you think it would be best to reorganize mmotives, I wouldn't hesitate to do that. It is all part of the drafting process that you have opened up for everyone to see.

I'm also really intrigued by Last Bouquet. It's a little on the dark side, which I personally like. Can't wait to see more of this one!

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12 Aug 2016 20:18 - 12 Sep 2016 15:19 #49571 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Freight. Train. ;)
The Last Bouquet (part 3)
by Au Goose

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Last edit: 12 Sep 2016 15:19 by AuGoose.
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13 Aug 2016 03:38 #49577 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Just finished the five parts of mmotives that have been published. The erotic scenes are phenomenal -- the transformation, the encounter with her high school friend, and then the one done in the second person. These are scenes I'll be turning back to for years! Great stuff!

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14 Aug 2016 10:34 - 14 Aug 2016 10:41 #49596 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Heh :). Thank you. Definitely a couple of experiments there. Second person is... unfamiliar? I felt a little like a table-top RPG gamemaster talking dirty to a willing, even eager player. Several female readers have indicated they did like having it croon in their ear :).

The first part is still pretty crucial... the luxurious description that the reader should be armed with going forward so I don't have to word-worship Hannah's super-body every time :whistle:. The lunch scene had a couple of problems already raising an itch for me... I've gone back and made a few changes that may make it a little more fun in the last day or so. Better word flow at the very least. We get a lot of takes on uber-sex around here so I did actively want to show how other power-sets might amuse themselves. No one but me could be expected to re-read this stuff as often as I tweak it, but you might give part 4 another chance at some point :). The good news is a full re-read on my part to apply edits is also a necessary step to refreshing my feel for the character's different voices.

The Last Bouquet briefly ran off the rails with my first try at the next scene being too focused on bringing forward Rose's big debut. Definitely one of those "No... Stop. What does the story and the reader actually need next? You can trot out Rose any time." Sometimes the desire for immediate feedback on a finished scene tries to club dramatic pacing over the head :P:. A more correct scene is brewing, but there will probably be no update today. Part III did get a pretty extensive polish pass starting from where Jane catches up with the killer, getting a full transformation sequence that should foreshadow a lot of what's to cum. -er, come.
Last edit: 14 Aug 2016 10:41 by AuGoose.

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18 Aug 2016 07:32 #49669 by circes_cup
Replied by circes_cup on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
On Last Bouquet, the scene at the Vegas hotel was dynamite. I really like the way you combined the evilness of the supergirl with the POV of another woman trying to stop her. I had never thought of doing that. Most evil supergirl stories are told from the perspective of the evil one, but it's hard for a reader to empathize with the evilness. Telling it from the perspective of a cop hell-bent on stopping the evil is a great way to go.

I love throwing of furniture. And I love the pacing of the action -- was a real page turner.
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08 Sep 2016 05:47 - 20 Sep 2016 17:54 #50148 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Made a little progress on last Bouquet. Crime stories are kinda odd the way you really need to know what actually happened in pretty good detail before you go back and layer confusion and mistakes over that to get the story the protagonist knows. I've been trying to work the path of events for the Hong Kong murder than broke Agent Monroe's career. Think I've got it now.

I've also updated "The Lioness: a tactical superheroine" with some much needed edits. Its not a new story, but if it's been a while, you might check in. Hopefully some of the concerns with the back and forth journey though memory have been addressed.

And a small ditty that came to me while out running errands. No idea if I'll repurpose it for another story, add to it, or just enjoy the moment. Either way, I need to write more, so I'z trying to write more.

Best. Day. Ever.
By Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
Last edit: 20 Sep 2016 17:54 by AuGoose.
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10 Sep 2016 14:14 #50179 by LustMonster
Replied by LustMonster on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Best Day Ever is getting really good. It behooves all you dear readers to scroll up a few inches and give it another read. The Master Honker continues to weave his magic spell across the pixelly-printed page...

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12 Sep 2016 02:40 #50196 by Grayface
Replied by Grayface on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Ah, in regards to Best. Day. Ever. I quite enjoyed this story.

Honestly that was a great read. I'd love to see more of the trio exploits. Man you've realy been firing on all cylinders lately, hitting one out of the park after another.
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12 Sep 2016 10:20 - 20 Sep 2016 15:57 #50199 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
I'm glad you enjoyed it :). I'm gonna have to remember this one -- or the process, rather -- for a long while. Because when it first hit the page I was far from satisfied. I've been accused of droning on about literary theory, but indulge me a moment. It is a notebook after all.

B.D.E. built off of a couple pleasing gags (the thunder/lighting confusion at the beginning was really why I started writing it down at all). It's also just about 100% plot free, which gives it fewer hooks to hang from :P. Really, there's only sex and jokes simmering in this pot and sometimes that leaves the soup a little thin for me. I liked the slight element of bait-and-switch that it starts with an ubergirl, hero of her own story, but then things escalate madly. Surprise! But initially Sylvia's transformation was... routine.

I'm probably over 30 hard 'read-through's into it now, trying to punch it up or sanding down bits that don't sound right in my ear (and fuck me blue, the typos, they're everywhere!). One problem with my prolific phases is I remember what I've written lately. And since one of the rules ground into me somewhere along the line is don't repeat yourself (unless specifically evoking echoes) I start getting boxed in not just by that story but by all those others too. I don't want to cut-and-paste Ella, even by accident, no matter how much I enjoyed her little upwelling :). So the initial draft was pretty brief. All the little quirks I could think of in the moment.

As frustrating as typo hunts are, the re-writing is definitely where this story started to perk up. It's taken a few days for it to take on a more pleasing heft. Emphasizing the initial awkwardness of a wish poorly thought out. Letting Sylvia exercise her imagination more even while the core process had pretty much only one destination all along. Giving the roomies a few more moments in the (silver-white) sun.

I will point out the two things in it I enjoy the most. They'll probably reveal me for the oddball I am, but here they are :laugh:.

Sophie gestured she wanted to look at it again and Bree passed it over.

That's just about pure "AuGoose" right there. I love non-verbal cues and non-verbal communication. A two-way exchange with no words at all. Score! Watching how people move and communicate is fascinating to me because I -don't- have an instinctive sense for it. If you want to see AuGoose spazzing out, just watch me watching television -- So. Damn. Often. I see actors and not characters because they're saying "Trust me" or "This is what happened" and they are shaking their heads in negation. The mouth says 'yes' and the rest of the body screams at me 'not even a little bit'. Because they're acting. Lying. That kind of mismatch drives me into a frenzy. One that occasionally makes me do or say stupid shit all out of proportion. Things I'm still apologizing for :unsure:. Other people enjoy the show just fine. It's idiosyncratic to me. I'm the point of failure in the exchange.

The other highlight of B.D.E. for me is the gag I'm most proud of. "Say when..." "When." Mostly because it was unplanned, revealing itself mid-way through the edits. The lead in is just Sylvia's verbal style. A mix of mischievous and thoughtful. The counter bubbling up organically from Bree's more subdued wit. It's always great when even a little bit of a story writes itself, but when the jokes write themselves even the author gets to honestly laugh. A nice pay off for hours toiling in the word-mines :laugh: .

Grayface wrote: I'd love to see more of the trio exploits.


...That's always tricky. In part because that begins to get into world building, which is exercising a very different skill set and appeals to a very different sensibility. By request I took up a continuation for Kneel Before Zoe, and while I'm pleased with the results, sometimes I think it was a mistake to do so. I'm not sure folks actually want to see an evil supergirl the way I would explore the concept (a nagging doubt as I continue to scribble down notes for The Last Bouquet). As described in other recent threads on the process of uberfication, the sweet honeymoon phase the characters experience is reflected in the audience. It is a tough act to follow, and hats off to those who take up that gauntlet.

I've got a couple of time consuming projects coming up for the next few days, so I'm not expecting to get much writing in. Expect me when you see me :). And thanks again.

Update: A quick shout out to Red Five for his able assistance in localization for Best. Day. Ever. Thanks! :)
Last edit: 20 Sep 2016 15:57 by AuGoose.
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15 Sep 2016 16:35 - 29 Nov 2016 16:35 #50262 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
And then the muse said "You'll write it and you'll like it." And one does not argue with the muse :).

...So, my first piece of DC erotic fanfic. Odd.
How to Make a Bat Sandwich
by AuGoose
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
Last edit: 29 Nov 2016 16:35 by AuGoose.
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17 Sep 2016 19:38 - 10 Oct 2016 13:46 #50303 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
So this one's been hung for months. I'm gonna see if putting it out in the public eye motivates me to do the necessary read after read after read to fix it.

Update: Heh. Its only been up for minutes and it's already been eviscerated by the readers paying more attention than I did. Good eye, Lojack, and thanks! (I'll fix it after some TV binge-watching I've been promising myself for days ;))
The Games that We Play (IX. The Hermit)
A Quantum Tarot - Part IV
By Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
Last edit: 10 Oct 2016 13:46 by AuGoose.
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19 Sep 2016 14:13 - 19 Sep 2016 14:17 #50321 by koopa
Replied by koopa on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Wow... Like many, I found myself out of things to say, but those last entries are so damn GOOD.
In Best Day Ever you really brought the eroticism of a female turning into an ubergirl to new heights. The richness of your vocabulary and your sense of metaphor just makes it extra awesome for me everytime.

Really loved your Bat Sandwich entry as well. It's so fresh and it's nice to see that you somehow kept the characters faithful to their DC universe "official personality' (especially Bat and PG) while adding some crazy-fun-sexual plot twist ! That was really hot and fun.

The last "in progress" addition of Zoe was great too. In this chapter, really like how introspective Zoe, this make me connect to the character even more. The action scenes were great as well.
I somehow regret that Zoe's quest for "more" seems pointless at this time given that she is already beyond superhuman. But I just like this character so much.

Thank you!

Hope you'll keep honking :)
Last edit: 19 Sep 2016 14:17 by koopa.
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21 Sep 2016 09:12 #50356 by Woodclaw
Replied by Woodclaw on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
While I had the occasion to discuss some bits of this story with Au in chat the opening of this last Zoe story took me a bit off guard. While the narrative is solid and I greatly appreciate the dispassionate view Au delivered on some super-power -- like superspeed -- I never expected it from Zoe. While it does make sense, hearing it from her is a facet of her character that we never experienced before and that I didn't expect, but it's very welcome nonetheless.
The party was a tad more tricky, it comes dangerously close to one of my most hated tropes: having a character putting herself in a less than optimal situation because she craves some kind of additional challenge. This is especially bad for characters that are built around the idea of being very efficient operative, because it's the polar opposite of field efficiency. Luckily it doesn't seem that Zoe would do that "too intentionally", so I'm good.
The chat at the end was pure gold for me because, save from the being shot moment, that entire scene would play the same with or without superpowers. This was a moment were skill and personalities counted more than powers and Zoe had a challenge that felt real because she was at a disadvantage that her powers couldn't immediately gap. Her worst enemy in this scene was herself and her needs, her antagonist had something she wanted (information and the key for her to get ehr privacy back) and wasn't afraid to gamble them against her need for a challenge.

All in all, this is a series that is still developing, but had already provided us with many excellent bits of world-building and characterization and I'm all to happy to see more.

(formerly Anon, still Librarian)

"What is the point of having free will if one cannot occasionally spit in the eye of destiny?" ("Gentleman" John Marcone)

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22 Sep 2016 17:13 - 22 Sep 2016 17:14 #50395 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)

koopa wrote: Wow... Like many, I found myself out of things to say, but those last entries are so damn GOOD.


I'm glad you're enjoying them. All three of them are actually examples of different ways I struggle, so I'm happy they seem to have come out well (or will come out well with Zoe, as there's still some primary writing to be done there before it might be library ready).

In Best Day Ever you really brought the eroticism of a female turning into an ubergirl to new heights. The richness of your vocabulary and your sense of metaphor just makes it extra awesome for me every time.


You'll (hopefully) be pleased this comment was very helpful for doing my final pass over the text before kicking that gosling out of the nest - going over it with an eye towards Sylvia's own awareness and enjoyment of the process. Her joy at being the canvass for the painting she was creating. Finding new metaphors for a couple of shared/common themes is fun, but I sometimes fret that the most commonly used word in my stories after 'the' is 'like' :P.

Really loved your Bat Sandwich entry as well. It's so fresh and it's nice to see that you somehow kept the characters faithful to their DC universe "official personality' (especially Bat and PG) while adding some crazy-fun-sexual plot twist ! That was really hot and fun.


I try not to fish for compliments too hard, but I'm glad to hear back almost anything on this one. It's a break from my usual style (or so I'm told) and I'm still trying to get a handle on the differences. I think part of it is it tends to lean very hard on some of the established elements of the setting it mirrors. I had 2-3 new things I wanted to say about life on the Watchtower, but just saying "Watchtower" shorthands pages of description I'd normally have to do. It also has two very specific joke it wants to tell, and it's possible that reaching that final punch line and finishing is not what the reader expects. I guess I might ordinarily carry on with the last scene to its panting and exhausted conclusion, but that's just not the point this time.

I've been advised it would help to add a few lines at the beginning the clarify which of the myriad incarnations of these characters the reader might want to put foremost in their mind before starting. There's still a certain awkwardness I feel towards it that I -think- is because its not a setting of my creation. I really dunno. May have to do more like it and see what they reveal.

The last "in progress" addition of Zoe was great too. In this chapter, really like how introspective Zoe, this make me connect to the character even more. The action scenes were great as well.

I somehow regret that Zoe's quest for "more" seems pointless at this time given that she is already beyond superhuman. But I just like this character so much.


I haven't had the time to sit down and really work this piece, but putting it up and getting some honest critique of both strong and flawed aspects has helped. Part of what was tripping me up was other chapters had built a consistent structure of three scenes each, and my third scene for this was just a rambling wreck (no, I didn't post that part). Getting into new layout and re-reading what was mostly workable gave me my missing scene - not at the end, but between the the two Zoe sequences. I started to put it up but I've had some problems with chat window behavior causing me to lose work when using the on-line editor, so I've needed to press on in my own word processor, which I just haven't gotten to yet. Its a bit frustrating -- I created this notebook because working in different styles of windows/layout is invigorating for me, and having come to be afraid to work inside this thread for fear of losing text is... Gah.

Hope you'll keep honking :)


I certainly plan to! :laugh:
Last edit: 22 Sep 2016 17:14 by AuGoose.

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15 Oct 2016 23:36 - 16 Oct 2016 08:14 #50744 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
This goose is in the midst of migration, which is not conducive to writing (at least for another week or so) but I've also been attempting to learn how to use some 3D rendering software. Still tons to learn, but so far I'm pleased with the early progress. I'm hoping to eventually decorate most of my stories with some imagery. A quick early sample :)

I need a new computer that renders faster :P.

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Last edit: 16 Oct 2016 08:14 by AuGoose.
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17 Oct 2016 14:51 - 26 Oct 2016 20:55 #50756 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
While I look forward to getting back to wordsmithing once I'm in my winter nesting grounds, playing with the 3D rendering stuff has been an amusing way to pass the time. I think there's hope I will eventually not suck :). The prospect of producing some art for my stories is pretty exciting! (if slightly expensive while I amass tools and assets...)

NSFW ~ an attempts at a pose of Fiona from How the Little Tub met Its Fate (shortly after she bursts out of the locker rooms)

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


Still tinkering :).

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]

(note: the yellow background is an artifact of the spoiler tag - it's on a transparent background if you download it)

Edit: Reached my winter nesting grounds, which has given me some uninterrupted time to experiment. Still sorting out lighting rigs (I was kind of over exposing everything after my 'way too dark' phase). Spent some time getting Ella's face just right. I'll probably fiddle with it a little, but it's -much- closer to what I'd been imagining. A few quick samples.

Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]


Hope you enjoy :).

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Last edit: 26 Oct 2016 20:55 by AuGoose.
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27 Oct 2016 09:36 #50907 by njae
Replied by njae on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
*bump*

All this new content and it doesn't appear in the ticker, what a shame.

I really like these renders.

New Deviantart, setup in progress
njae2.deviantart.com/
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