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The honking of geese (a notebook)

29 Dec 2016 15:32 - 30 Dec 2016 16:37 #51968 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
This one feels a little rushed, but I'm gonna post it anyway and sand it down in edits later. Mostly enjoying the momentum, as I have nearly all my remaining scenes planed out and the climax is actually already written down. A beginning and an end in hand? Nice. Now for some middling!

Sides Effects May Include... (part 6)
by Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
Last edit: 30 Dec 2016 16:37 by AuGoose.
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29 Dec 2016 16:18 - 29 Dec 2016 17:04 #51970 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Feeling sorry for Candace now. She nearly had it all. You CAN be cruel Goose! (Almost as cruel as Jessie). It's interesting how that reaction came from the reader. Hope you can rectify / remedy poor Candi's situ...
Last edit: 29 Dec 2016 17:04 by Monty.

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29 Dec 2016 18:53 #51976 by koopa
Replied by koopa on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
My god, "Side Effect" might be the best Christmas present of this year for me !

I can't help but fall for the evil one and Jesse is precisely my favorite target for superpowers infusion : spoiled, rich, uncaring and incredibly hot!!

Nice touch for the fan the way you integrated the Cloud-9 and 8-ball into your current AUGoose universe by referencing the Deniken sisters...

Right from part 1, describing Jesse and the relationship dynamic between the two sisters you had me hooked.
But that part 3... I was happily surprised with the switch to Jesse POV. I was feeling that you were about to unleash upon us your signature UBER-UP sequence and man was I right! This transformation part striked me hard, on a "Best day ever" level of hard! I told you many times now but it's really incredible how you manage to craft those detailed, organic, vivid, breathtaking, orgasmic uberification sequence!

And this last part... all this writing set-up for Candace powering up robbed from her at the last moment by Jesse, was the best homage to Marknew stories I can think of.

Can't wait to see how Jesse will end up when she'll be done r(e)aping this intriguing blue strand of power of all of its juicy power.

I also want to say that the 3d renders you made and especially Jesse in this two-pieces bikini really made my imagination spinning and adds a new layer of visual hotness to your story.

Thank you for this amazing work, Santa Goose has been really good to us this year!
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29 Dec 2016 23:01 #51979 by Monty
Replied by Monty on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Goose, I've just spotted something about the older sister and a certain number... Don't want to hit a potential spoiler - I may be way off track anyway!

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30 Dec 2016 07:47 #51982 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)

Monty wrote: Goose, I've just spotted something about the older sister and a certain number... Don't want to hit a potential spoiler - I may be way off track anyway!


Clever, but no. I renamed Janice to Candace because I liked the sound of the name, it seemed sufficiently fru-fru for the daughter of a wealthy white family living in the moneyed part of the LA Basin, and because several of the meanings for her name seemed charmingly appropriate without being full-on prophetic.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Candace

Now their family name? That is prophetic ;).

Also, while I don't generally post to only call out edits, I will say there's a somewhat substantial addition to the end of part six I posted just now. Start from the moment the Eight-Ball gets used if you want to skip directly to the changes.

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30 Dec 2016 16:20 - 01 Jan 2017 08:53 #51986 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Just cruising right along :).

Sides Effects May Include... (interlude 1)
by Au Goose
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Last edit: 01 Jan 2017 08:53 by AuGoose.
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30 Dec 2016 17:36 #51987 by jumperprime
Replied by jumperprime on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Waitasec.. Candace is blonde, isn't she? And Candace and Jessie live in the same house. Damnit, looks like Candace may be about to be murdered on account of being mistaken for Jessie, just one last screw you from the brat sister to the nice one, and this one'll be completely unintentional.
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30 Dec 2016 20:51 - 31 Dec 2016 16:44 #51989 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Seriously, get the Muse a chair and a cookie. She's clearly sticking around.
(Yes, I'm kinda exhausted. Exhilarated, but exhausted.)

This would be the agonizingly boring setting exposition that nearly killed this story once before. I apologize, and promise it won't happen again -- at least in this tale.

Sides Effects May Include... (interlude 2)
by Au Goose
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Last edit: 31 Dec 2016 16:44 by AuGoose.
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31 Dec 2016 17:58 #52001 by LustMonster
Replied by LustMonster on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Still scrambling to catch up on my reading in this thread. I'm definitely enjoying what I've read so far though!
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31 Dec 2016 19:31 - 01 Jan 2017 01:08 #52003 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Ok, definitely racing the clock again (so it's rushed). But what a way to bring in the new year! B)

Listening to the Moana soundtrack as I write. One of the best sets of songs out of Disney in ages, and do not fool yourself, Moana (the title character) is a super-heroine of the finest sort. Athletic, wise beyond her years, beautiful, and breathtakingly courageous. I HIGHLY recommend the movie to anyone who wants to see a woman kick much ass as she comes into the fullness of her power. She bends the whole world to her will and earns her happy ending brilliantly. Seriously, it's excellent.

Side Effects May Include... (part 7)
by Au Goose
Warning: Spoiler! [ Click to expand ]
Last edit: 01 Jan 2017 01:08 by AuGoose.
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31 Dec 2016 22:39 - 01 Jan 2017 07:57 #52004 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Mmm. Deadline frenzy writing. Raw and wriggling! bbbb-bbb-bb-b-b-braw! [ /Gollum ]

Edits and clean up after the down time. Happy New Year! *Honk!*

Side Effects May Include... (part 8)
by Au Goose
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Last edit: 01 Jan 2017 07:57 by AuGoose.
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01 Jan 2017 01:49 - 01 Jan 2017 08:37 #52012 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)

jumperprime wrote: Waitasec.. Candace is blonde, isn't she? And Candace and Jessie live in the same house. Damnit, looks like Candace may be about to be murdered on account of being mistaken for Jessie, just one last screw you from the brat sister to the nice one, and this one'll be completely unintentional.

Definitely some mistaken identity going on ;). A rather serious mistake at that.

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Last edit: 01 Jan 2017 08:37 by AuGoose.

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01 Jan 2017 01:49 - 01 Jan 2017 08:38 #52013 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)

jumperprime wrote: Well, the first time it happened, some water from the pool was able to be used for one repeat elsewhere before it got too diluted, so if they can either take some of the water to another pool or refill and chlorinate that one without Superbrat interfering....

And if that fails, she apparently has a vial of Magic Eight-Ball she's been waffling over.

I've had to bite my lip a few times. Both possibilities quite correct, you just mixed up the order :).

The funny thing about crafting a literary surprise is that ultimately you want the people paying complete attention to be able to guess correctly (or nearly so). Their enjoyment in puzzling it out and being vindicated is worth more than your enjoyment of pulling one over on them. Its a cheap twist indeed that doesn't provide you enough clues to slap your forehead with delight when the pieces fall into place. The exact words in part 3 the last time the shake was seen were~

"Setting the nearly empty cup down"

(which I haven't had to go back and edit because... planning! B) )

But really, I hope the revelation of Candace's darker side is the better twist :ohmy:.
Last edit: 01 Jan 2017 08:38 by AuGoose.

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01 Jan 2017 02:11 #52014 by Revan
Replied by Revan on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
I was suspecting/hoping for that twist, had a feeling there was more to Candace' lust for power than you let on. Nonetheless you unveiled it perfectly.
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13 Jan 2017 06:59 - 19 Jan 2017 03:51 #52037 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Ok. Obviously I'm a little shaken by the site roll-back. Probably not the largest of the fires the crew is putting out, but a bit of a personal disaster. I treat this thread as a live performance space, constantly tweaking and tuning stories out in the open. A decision and process that makes it very impractical for me to save out a copy of every change. You have to know going in that while working without a net adds a certain zest, it also means once in a while you're gonna break your neck.

Fortunately thanks to the "reader's copy" I amassed just before taking a break, I -think- I have all my changes to Side Effects May Include... except for tweaks I made to part 9 between posting it and the site's hiccup. That's a little daunting, but so far it's been below the "I'm gonna scream, throw up, or both" threshold that's accompanied some of my more catastrophic losses of work in the past.

I'll be reposting part 9 later, once I steel myself to figure out how many goofs/typos there are I thought I'd already fixed ((groan)). My plan is to repost parts 1-8 as a block rather than going back and pasting over each section individually. However I suspect this will exceed a character limit for each individual thread post, so I hay have to break it back down into chunks. Or it may simply prove better to hold that updated content until eventual release into the library.

In any event, despite this disruption, writing continues apace.

Side Effects May Include... (part 10)
by Au Goose
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Last edit: 19 Jan 2017 03:51 by AuGoose.
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17 Jan 2017 11:14 - 19 Feb 2017 10:38 #52135 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
I've had some requests to do higher resolution renders so here's a couple of example. Took my poor abused brick 2.5 hours for the first and 4.5 for the second. But they are rather yummy :).

I've also added two smaller images in-line in part 10 in the post above. just for reference :).

Edit: After some discussion I decided to tweak Wendy's presentation slightly.

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Last edit: 19 Feb 2017 10:38 by AuGoose.

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22 Feb 2017 01:20 - 03 Mar 2017 13:08 #52701 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
So... wrestling with the moral and narrative ramifications of Circe's Cups deeply compelling LaPorte Caves has really helped me find the core value proposition I want to explore with Side Effects May Include... I've got a much better sense of the dichotomy I want to create between the Moore sisters and their reactions to suddenly being awash in both massive power (of different sorts) and near limitless sexual opportunity. Some of this will be reflected by changes earlier in the tale that I'm unlikely to present until the tale goes to the Library on a permanent basis, but most of this new focus pays off in more recent (and future) segments.

To summarize one of the key minor adjustments, ALL Naiads have a fairly powerful 'lust aura', whipping those in extreme proximity into a highly aroused and mildly suggestible state. Men taking the drug also gain this aura, but only for a couple of days, while Naiads enjoy it indefinitely. Unsurprisingly Jessie and Candace both take this to an extreme both in range and impact.

I've also wanted to make some significant changes to Jessie's encounter with Aisha, and that resulted in a substantial rebuild of part 9. This was the part partially reverted by the site implosion a while back so ultimately rather than deal with the demoralizing crater, I mostly built a new trail around it. Hopefully the story is better for it. I think it is :).

Again, this is a revised Part 9 and thus comes before Candace's trip to the club. Sorry for the not-quite-chronological presentation. I'll get it sorted on the backside when it gets shelved.
Side Effects May Include... (part 9)
by Au Goose
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Last edit: 03 Mar 2017 13:08 by AuGoose.
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22 Feb 2017 03:47 - 23 Apr 2017 01:22 #52705 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Right. Moving on then.
Side Effects May Include... (part 11)
by Au Goose
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Last edit: 23 Apr 2017 01:22 by AuGoose.
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22 Feb 2017 05:31 #52707 by jumperprime
Replied by jumperprime on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Aisha's gonna be annoyed that Super Jessie annihilated her house and everything in it. Her camera gear will be especially hard to replace, followed closely by her clothesmaking equipment and supplies.

"Don't you go and damage that supersuit I made you, cuz it's gonna be a good long while before I'll be able to scrape together what I need to make another"
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22 Feb 2017 17:32 #52714 by AuGoose
Replied by AuGoose on topic The honking of geese (a notebook)
Aisha will certainly have a few choice words about pancaking her home. Not cool.

Now if this were trash young-adult fiction, Aisha and Wendy would go on to be the leaders of two all-women tribes of Ubergirls and Witches locked in a shadow war hidden from mortal eyes for the next century and a half. Like Pirates vs. Ninjas or Vampires vs. Werewolves, only with more boobs. The two groups both inducting 'special' girls into their ranks to replenish their numbers until the coming of the Special-est Girl Of Them All, who obviously is both witch and ubergirl.

Which would actually be really hot. :whistle:

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